I’m going through one of those times now. As Mark recovers, the weight of keeping everything in balance has been pressing down on me. I’ve longed to get out and soak in the fall colors, but instead, I’ve been at home managing daily demands. And while I know the tools to lift myself up, I also know that finding a way back to peace takes time.

Depression affects so many. In fact, about 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experience mental health struggles each year. We’re not alone in these feelings. What I know is this: life isn’t always bright, but in the dimmest times, there are ways to find a flicker of light.

For anyone else who may be feeling low, I’d like to share a few ways to move through it, not as a cure-all. But as gentle reminders that these feelings are temporary, and hope is always around the corner. And while I know all the tools to lift myself up—the practices I teach and believe in—they’re not a quick fix. But when we commit to using them, these practices gently start to work, helping us shift our mindset, and inviting light back into the dimmest days.

If you’re feeling down too, here are a few things we can try together:

Finding Light in the Small Things

Gratitude can feel like a buzzword. But it truly has transformative power.  Gratitude has the power to shift our perspective, especially when it feels like nothing is going your way, when life feels challenging. It doesn’t magically make everything better, but it does help see the good that’s still there.

Lately, I’ve found myself grounding in small, simple things, like a warm cup of cacao tea, something I picked up last spring during our retreat to Costa Rica.  These moments may seem minor, but they’re a reminder that beauty still exists all around us, even in difficult times.

I also tune into Grateful by Nimo Patel, a beautiful song that has become a sort of anthem for me when things seem to be going in the wrong direction. If you haven’t heard it, it’s worth a listen. It echoes this very truth: “The gift to realize that everything is a gift.”.

Do you want to amplify your gratitude muscle with me and learn to invoke gratitude more often, consider joining my upcoming 10-Day Gratitude Challenge starting November 19. This challenge will include ten days of guided activities designed to strengthen our ability to be grateful for all aspects of our lives, even the challenging ones. Gratitude takes practice, and this challenge is a perfect way to start building that muscle.  This will be 10 days of practicing gratitude in new and fun ways. It ends on Thanksgiving, a day set aside just to simply practice gratitude.

When we pause to appreciate what we have—especially during hard times—we create a little more space for hope. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring our struggles; it’s about balancing the scales. Finding  one or two small things to appreciate can shift our perspective, even if just a little. When we practice gratitude regularly, it becomes a habit that, over time, naturally softens our more challenging emotions.

Remembering That Feelings Are Temporary

Mindfulness reminds us that no feeling, however heavy, is permanent. Feelings come and go, like waves on the shore. We don’t always have control over the waves, but we can learn to observe them, knowing they’re temporary. Things may not be going your way today, but in an instance things can change.

One of the core teachings in mindfulness is learning to sit with our emotions without judgment. When we label feelings as “bad,” we amplify their intensity. But when we simply observe them, we start to see them as passing waves. It’s okay to feel low—these feelings don’t define us. They are simply part of being human.

This realization has been such a comfort. Feelings of stress, sadness, or hopelessness can feel so consuming in the moment, but practicing mindfulness allows me to step back and notice that they will pass. The next day, I have a chance to start anew, with new energy and a new perspective. And even if that day is tough too, each morning brings with it the possibility for change.

Mindfulness gives us a gentle reminder that it’s okay to feel down. The key is not to judge those feelings or get caught up in them as if they define us. They are just part of the human experience—passing clouds that eventually make way for the sun.

Practicing mindfulness daily doesn’t require a big commitment. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a deep breath and noticing how you’re feeling. You might try sitting with your coffee for a few minutes, just tasting it and feeling its warmth. It sounds simple, but moments like this remind us to slow down and bring awareness to the present.

Rewiring Our Thought Patterns

Meditation has been a refuge for me, a place to quiet the chaos and reset my mindset. When life feels overwhelming, meditation helps create some space, allowing me to step out of negative thought loops and find calm. For anyone who feels stuck in their mind, meditation can be transformative. It’s about seeing those thoughts for what they are and learning to release them.

When things aren’t going our way, when we’re caught in a cycle of worry or doubt, it can be difficult to see past it. Meditation allows us to pause, take a breath, and create some mental space. It’s not about eliminating all negative thoughts; it’s about changing our relationship with them.

As I sit in meditation, I focus on my breath, letting go of my need to “fix” anything right away. It’s in these moments of quiet that I find a sense of calm and clarity, helping me to release the grip of negative thoughts and shift into a more hopeful mindset. I only sit for a few minutes, but a few minutes is better than 0 minutes. And I know my mind appreciates those moments.

If you’re curious about starting or deepening your meditation practice, I’m offering a Mind and Meditation Series at Lake Michigan College this November. This series is about more than just meditation; it’s a space to learn how to work with our thoughts, to redirect them, and ultimately, to invite peace back into our minds. Meditation has been my go-to these past few weeks, giving me a much-needed mental reset when the world right now feels chaotic. Not in Michigan? It’s also available digitally on our website, https://eclecticwell-being.com/programs/.

Finding Healing Right in Our Own Backyards

There’s something deeply healing about being in nature when nothing seems to be going our way. Studies have shown that simply immersing ourselves in the natural world, spending time outdoors, has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and increase feelings of well-being.

It’s not just a poetic idea; studies have proven that spending time in nature lowers cortisol levels, reduces blood pressure, and even boosts our immune system. Even if you can’t escape to the woods, simply spending a few minutes outside the house can make a difference.

I’ve found solace in my own backyard. Though I’ve longed to get away and see the vibrant fall foliage, I’ve instead found little moments of peace by observing the trees, listening to the birds, and taking in the crisp air. Even just sitting outside with my chickens or walking around my garden reminds me of the gentle, natural rhythms of life. The Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing, encourages us to immerse ourselves in nature using all our senses. Nature doesn’t rush; it simply grows and changes, and so can we.

Incorporating These Practices 

These practices—gratitude, mindfulness, meditation, and nature—are at the heart of my coaching practice. It is what I bring to every DREAM Retreat. Our yearly DREAM Retreats are something I look forward to. And looking forward to something special is a great way to break our moments of depression. Each retreat is a space to reconnect with ourselves and these essential tools, giving us time to restore and reimagine our lives. Next year we’ll bring the DREAM Process to Italy, where we’ll immerse ourselves in beautiful surroundings, reconnect with nature, and embrace moments of reflection and gratitude. Italy’s landscape will be the perfect backdrop for this journey, as we come together to find new clarity, calm, and empowerment. Just thinking of this transformative experience has my spirits uplifting!

If you’re feeling weighed down by life, I invite you to explore Il Dolce Viaggio; The Sweet Journey. It’s not a magic wand, but these retreats can be life-changing!  They provide a roadmap that leads to a more empowered and fulfilled life.

The Power of Patience and Small Steps

I’m not “up” for everything today, and maybe you’re not either. And that’s okay. Manifesting a positive life isn’t about denying the hard times when things aren’t going your way; it’s about finding ways to walk through them, one step at a time. If you’re in a rough spot, know that you’re not alone. Take it one day, one moment, one breath at a time.

In the end, I know that this isn’t about forcing myself to feel better instantly. Moving through difficult times is a process, and it requires patience. I remind myself daily that these tools take time—they’re not immediate cures, but gentle supports that lift us, day by day, toward brighter moments.

If you’re feeling down, take a moment to breathe. Find something small to be grateful for. Step outside, even if just for a minute, to feel the cool air or notice a plant blooming. Remember that every feeling, no matter how heavy, will pass. And if you’re looking for more structure, consider joining our Gratitude Challenge or the Mind and Meditation Series. Together, we’ll explore these practices and build the resilience we need to navigate life’s ups and downs.

We all face tough days. But with small, intentional steps, we can find ways to manage the load and manifest hope. Remember, this too shall pass. 🌱

The post Manifest Monday: When nothing is going your way… by Kathi Szabo appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

For me, this shift has been personal lately. Just five days ago, Mark had surgery on his foot after stepping on a nail. Suddenly our routine changed. He’s depending on me more than usual, and as much as I love caring for him, it’s a reminder of how easily life can become overwhelming when we forget to care for ourselves too.

These past few days have taught me the importance of self-love and compassion—not just for him, but for me too. And maybe this is the perfect message for today, as autumn begins to invite us to turn inward and nurture ourselves.

The beauty of fall is that it naturally slows us down and gives us time to embrace autumnal renewal. While spring and summer are filled with outward movement, activity, and connection, autumn offers us a much-needed pause. It’s a time to reconnect with our own inner world, to rediscover what ignites our passion, and to tend to our own needs. Whether that’s emotional, physical, or spiritual. Time to Embrace Autumnal Renewal.

Your Self

As we transition into fall (even if the weather isn’t quite there yet), it’s the perfect opportunity to pause and reflect on how we’ve been caring for our Self. For me, the last five days of being in caregiver mode reminded me that if I don’t also tend to my own needs, burnout is inevitable. This is why I always advocate for me time—something I’ve been trying to carve out, even if it’s just for a moment here or there.

What does this look like for you? Perhaps it’s taking a walk outside. Enjoying the changing leaves (or the lingering warmth!). Or maybe it’s restarting a yoga or meditation practice that got lost in the busy days of summer. Autumn is your invitation to slow down and find balance.

The earlier sunsets and longer nights also offer a natural rhythm for rest. This is the perfect time to sleep in, go to bed early, or simply enjoy the quiet moments that come with the change of seasons. And if you’ve been putting off those health check-ups or self-care routines, use this shift as a reminder to prioritize yourself.

When we care for our Self, we’re not just filling our own cup—we’re actually making space to care for those we love, without feeling depleted. Trust me, both Mark and I could use a little extra self-love and compassion right now!

Your Soul

While caring for your Self is essential, your Soul also needs attention. Your Soul is your deeper purpose, your reason for being. For me, these past few days of caregiving have been a reminder of the importance of finding meaning in both the big and small moments.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the day-to-day that we forget to connect with what lights us up inside. What’s your “why”? Why are you here, and what meaningful contribution do you want to make in the world?

Autumn offers a beautiful time to reflect on your purpose. If you’ve written a mission statement or have a guiding vision, this is the perfect moment to revisit it, reflect on how it aligns with your current life, and make adjustments if needed. If you don’t have one yet, consider using this season to explore what makes your Soul feel alive.

Your Dreams

Unlike the fast pace of summer, filled with activities and fleeting whims, autumn creates a natural pause. A chance to reflect on what it is we really desire—not the fleeting, impulsive dreams, but those rooted in our hearts. These are the dreams that bring lasting fulfillment because they come from our core.

This slowing down is a gift. It gives us the time to sift through our desires, releasing the ones that no longer serve us and holding onto those that ignite a fire within. Take a moment to ask yourself:

• What has been calling to me lately, something I may have pushed aside in the rush of daily life?
• What do I long to create or experience that feels aligned with my soul’s purpose?
• How can I use this time of seasonal transition to clarify my vision for the future?

Dreams rooted in passion are like seeds—fall offers the perfect time to plant those seeds in the rich soil of our intentions, knowing that they will grow, slowly but surely. This isn’t about hurried action or quick results. It’s about honoring your process and allowing space for your dreams to unfold naturally, just as the trees release their leaves to make way for new growth.

It’s also a time to trust that the dreams born in this reflective space are not just whims—they are your inner guidance calling you toward your highest potential. As the leaves fall and nature turns inward, use this season to give your dreams the space they need to evolve.

Time to Embrace Autumnal Renewal

In this season of renewal and reflection, I encourage you to reconnect with these three essential parts of yourself: Your Self, Your Soul, and Your Dreams. If the unpredictable weather and the demands of life are pulling you in different directions, remember that autumn gives you permission to slow down, to reflect, and to prioritize what truly matters.

As for me, between the warmth of the sun today and the cool nights ahead, I’m taking this time to care for myself too. If these last few days have taught me anything, it’s that self-compassion is just as important as the care we give to others.

Looking for ideas to get you started?

Here are some activities to help you embrace autumnal renewal and realign with your Self, your Soul, and your Dreams during this transformative season:

1. Forest Bathing or Mindful Nature Walks

Take advantage of the cooler temperatures and the stunning fall colors. Find a quiet trail or forest path and allow yourself to walk slowly, using all your senses to connect with the environment. Notice the changing leaves. The crispness in the air. The sounds of rustling branches. Use this time to reflect on your current state of being and where you want to focus your energy moving forward. Maybe come to Eclectic Sanctuary and lets Forest Bathe together. https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/ForestBathing2022

2. Journaling by Candlelight

As the days get shorter and darkness arrives earlier, carve out time in the evenings for journaling by the soft glow of a candle. Write about your desires, your passions, and what dreams are surfacing for you. What have you always wanted to do but never made time for? How can you align your actions with those deeper desires this season?

3. Create a Vision Board for Autumn

While vision boards are often seen as a New Year’s activity, fall is a great time to revisit or create a vision board. This time, focus not just on goals, but on how you want to feel as you move through this season. What emotional states are you striving for? What qualities do you want to embody as you work toward your dreams?

4. Evening Fireside Reflection

If you have access to an outdoor space, light a small bonfire or gather around a fire pit. Use this time to meditate or simply reflect on what you need to release to make space for your dreams. Just as we let go of limiting beliefs at our fall retreats, you can write down anything holding you back and toss it into the fire, watching it dissolve and create space for something new.

5. Autumn Recipe Creation with Fresh Herbs

Engage in the grounding practice of cooking with seasonal ingredients and fresh herbs. As you prepare meals, reflect on the ways nourishment fuels both your body and your dreams. Consider how slowing down to enjoy the simple pleasures of food can also mirror slowing down to savor the journey toward your goals.

6. Yoga Nidra for Dream Clarity

Yoga Nidra is a guided meditation practice that helps access the subconscious mind. Try incorporating a Yoga Nidra session into your evening routine this fall to explore the dreams that are buried beneath the surface. This deeply relaxing practice can bring you clarity on your soul’s purpose and the next steps toward manifesting your dreams. You can schedule your own Yoga Nidra session with me simply by requesting a date and time. https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/YogaNidraScheduler

7. Daily Gratitude Practice

Fall is a season of gratitude. Why not use this time to reflect daily on the blessings in your life? By practicing gratitude, you bring your focus to abundance rather than lack. This creates a fertile environment for your dreams to grow. Write down three things you’re grateful for every morning or evening, and watch how it shifts your mindset. And why not sign up for our annual Gratitude Challenge in November. This year we’ve culled it down to 10 days, but 10 days of deliberate action designed to embrace and embody living in gratitude.  https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/GratitudeChallenge

8. Connecting with a Soul Community

Sometimes, the best way to nurture your dreams is to share them with others. Attend a fall retreat, join a mindful hike, or participate in a group meditation session. Being in a community of like-minded individuals can inspire new ideas and provide the support you need to stay connected to your passions.

Mind & Meditation: A Journey Within

As we embrace the slower rhythm of fall and the opportunity to align with our deepest desires, I invite you to take this journey further with our Mind & Meditation series this November. Over the course of four weeks, we will explore mindfulness and meditation. As well as, discover practices that help quiet the noise of the outside world. And reconnect you with your inner Self and your soul’s purpose.

Whether you are seeking clarity on your dreams, struggling with life’s transitions, or simply needing space to breathe, this series will offer you the tools to create inner peace, align with your passions, and manifest a life filled with joy.

To join me in person at Lake Michigan College, register through Eventbrite, https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-mind-meditation-a-4-week-series-connecting-mindset-mindfulness-and-tickets-1004534017287

Or sign for our digital series and learn at your own pace at https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/MindTraining2023

This fall, I encourage you to go inward. A time to Embrace Autumnal Renewal. Taking time to honor the aspects of your being that need attention—your Self, your Soul, and your Dreams. What will your autumn renewal look like?

The post Manifest Monday: Time to Embrace Autumnal Renewal appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

With the same results each time: Lose a little bit of weight on the diet. Get tired of the diet because it’s impossible to maintain for whatever reason. Go back to “normal food” and slowly gain back the weight lost, plus a little bit to add more motivation next year.

It doesn’t really add motivation though, does it? It’s more like adjusting to the new normal and seeing how long it takes before new clothing becomes mandatory because the old clothes are too tight now.

And that’s the whole cycle. Get tired of being too heavy, go on a diet, lose a bit of weight, gain it all back, and try again next year. So many people experience this that there’s even a term for it.

Yo-yo dieting.

So-named because that’s what happens to the weight. It bobs up and down, slowly but steadily climbing a bit higher over the course of the year, until we decide to do something about it, then it drops, and begins to climb all over again.

I suppose we could also have called it “itsy-bitsy spider dieting,” as the spider seems as persistent as that yo-yo.

Regardless of what we call it though, living through it feels demoralizing.

Year after year, sometimes more than once per year, we put ourselves through this. Consistently trying to get onto the other side of the scale, where the numbers go down and stay down.

But they don’t. We watch the mirror in horror as our face swells to the point that we no longer see any family resemblance. We are now the generic “fat person” background character in someone else’s movie.

Why is getting healthy so hard? Why do we have to struggle like this?

Some people can’t take it any longer and resort to drastic medical measures, like having their stomachs stapled so they physically can’t eat as much food. And sometimes that doesn’t work either!

Can you imagine undergoing surgery in an effort to lose weight, and still have it fail?

Now the medical community is even armed with shots to help lose weight. These products are brand-new. Has there been a long-term study on their effects on the body? Will we be watching TV in 2036 and seeing ads for, “If you used MiracleDrug and are now experiencing symptoms of disintegrating liver [or some long list of other possible horrible ailments] YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION!” Time will tell.

Why does getting healthy have to be so darned hard?

What if it wasn’t? What if all you needed to do to become the healthy version of yourself is eat and move a bit?

That sounds like fantasy, doesn’t it? Yet for millions of people, it’s reality.

No, there’s no accompanying magic pill to take that makes all of your consumed calories disappear. Likewise, there’s no special food, instant meals, or shake packages. You can literally eat the foods you enjoy, move your body in whatever way you can, and watch the scale go in reverse.

Yes, you do need to move your body. Does that mean hours upon hours of standing-in-place cardio sessions? Nope.

I was skeptical too when I came across this method.

I thought the only way to lose weight and get into shape was to spend a lifetime at the gym, drinking kale smoothies, and eating bland, flavorless “health” food.

Yet I made pork tacos with Spanish Rice for dinner last night, and every Friday night is Pizza Night.

I’m also a chocoholic. I eat chocolate every single day, and I typically end each day with ice cream.

Yet I dropped from 240 down to 168 eating just like this.

Mind you, I didn’t stay at 168 for more than a month or so. People started telling me I was looking “too thin,” so I tweaked my plan a bit and popped up to 183, where I’ve been holding steady since 2020.

So, what do you need to do to make this work for yourself? To answer that, I created a whole year-long immersion program.

During that program, I go over the nine core competencies that everyone must master to live a full and healthy life. None of them are hard, but it’s likely that you’re not doing all nine in the right way at the moment.

I know I sure wasn’t! That’s why, even though I was working out like a madman at the gym, I wasn’t seeing the results I wanted on the scale, or on my body for that matter.

After making these small tweaks, though, everything changed. It really does feel like magic! It took me several decades to pack on all that weight, but once I really got into it, that fat just melted right off in months.

While learning the nine core competencies, I also help my clients to incorporate them into their lives, so that they really start living them and embodying them. After that, I celebrate with them each month as the scale begins to drop, they buy a new outfit in a smaller size, their clothes start to fit how they want them to fit, and they start to admire their own reflection again.

Will it work for you?

Let’s find out! Schedule a call with me to discuss your situation, and if you think it makes sense for us to work together, we will 😊 If not, no worries. I want to work with clients who want my help. Is that you? Click the link below:

Visit: https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/Mark1-2-1

The post Why is Getting Healthy so Hard? appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Have you noticed the leaves beginning to show a hint of autumn colors? Are you feeling a slight chill in the air? A slower pace? The quietness at the beach?

As the leaves change colors and the air becomes crisp, fall offers the perfect opportunity to indulge in some self-care.

Taking a Cue From the Trees

Did you know trees  shed their leaves to care for themselves in the upcoming winter? It’s a survival strategy. Letting go of their leaves, they conserve energy. We can also let go, shed our negative thoughts and unhealthy habits. Releasing what no longer serves us and instead create space for positivity and growth.

Trees often appear bare and vulnerable after shedding their leaves. But, this period of rest prepares them for growth in the spring. It’s a reminder that sometimes, letting go and resting can lead to renewal and future growth. We too must bare our vulnerability in order to renew and rejuvenate. Through our openness, we can recharge, restore balance, and nurture our physical and mental health.

Trees shed their leaves as part of a natural cycle. This shedding is a form of transformation. It’s a reminder that change is a natural and necessary part of life. Self-care also involves recognizing the need for change and transformation within oneself. A natural cycle of personal growth and exploration, acknowledging our emotional, mental, and physical needs and making adjustments to promote well-being.

In essence, both self-care and trees shedding their leaves in the fall emphasize the importance of recognizing the need for change, letting go of what no longer serves us, and embracing transformation as a natural part of life. Autumn serves as a powerful reminder that self-nurturing and adapting to change are essential for overall well-being and growth, whether on a personal or natural level.

Fall Into Self-Care – Fall Into YOU!

As Autumn makes her arrival, make time for you. Make time for Self-Care. If you need a few ideas, here are some of my favorite self-care ideas for this cozy time of year. Why not show yourself compassion and love. Why not Fall Into YOU!

Warm and Nourishing Drinks

Here’s an easy idea. Swap your usual beverages for comforting autumn-inspired drinks. Sip on hot apple cider, pumpkin spice lattes, or herbal teas. These cozy beverages will not only warm your body but also lift your spirits.

This year I’ve dried my own herbs and plan to make some interesting and healthy teas using Mullein, a common weed found in many parts off the US. But I must say, it’s everywhere at Eclectic Sanctuary. Makes me feel like the universe is telling me to use it! Mullein is a natural herbal remedy with antiseptic qualities, meaning it prevents the growth of disease-causing germs. Research has found that it is effective at fighting pneumonia, staph and E. coli bacteria. Other studies indicate that it has antiviral properties as well and may help in slowing the flu. If you’d like to give it a try this flue and cold season, let me know. I’m going to be selling it online! The combination I made last week with raspberry leaves was absolutely delicious without any sugar!

Nature Walks

Why not take advantage of the vibrant fall foliage by going on nature walks. The colorful scenery and crisp air make for an ideal backdrop to clear your mind, reduce stress, and reconnect with nature.  Perhaps find a bench, or log or clearing and just sit. In forest bathing, we call this a “Sit Spot.” It’s simply sitting and observing what is around us. Connecting with nature and noticing the change in colors, the freshness of the fall air.

Another option, which  I am lucky enough to have here in Michigan, is to take a fall walk on the beach! In NJ, you could take a walk “down the shore” just as easily. Notice the quiet without the summer crowds. Listen to the waves. The call of the birds. Soak up the sun and the colors of the water. Take your shoes off and feel the coolness of the sand in your toes. The beach is a beautiful place to be in the fall.

Cozy Reading:

When was the last time you curled up with a good book and a soft blanket? Whether it’s a classic novel, a mystery thriller, or a non-fiction title, reading can transport you to different worlds and provide much-needed relaxation. It allows you to escape from the stresses of daily life and instead immerse yourself in a different world.

But did you know reading has many other benefits. Fiction reading can expose you to different perspectives, cultures and human experiences fostering our empathy and compassion. Reading before bedtimes can promote better sleep. Books that delve into new ideas or fictional works with deep characters can lead to self-reflection and personal growth.

This fall, start reading again if it hasn’t been a habit. Maybe start with the book Atomic Habits, by James Clear. It’s one of Mark’s favorites! You’ll learn how it’s all about small changes and how those small changes become habits.

Home Décor and Organization:

Our Home is our Sanctuary. A place where we are always welcome. Where we can be our true selves. So why not treat it that way this fall. Get creative by crafting autumn-themed decorations for your home. Try making wreaths, candle holders, or decorative pumpkins. Engaging in DIY decorative projects can be both fun and therapeutic.

Or maybe declutter and organize your living spaces. I love organizing my kitchen. Giving everything a place. It creates a calming feeling instead of chaos when my counters are cluttered with things and appliances.

Or what about decluttering your closet. Are there summer items that never got worn? What fall items no longer seem like you? If they’re in good condition, donate to a second-hand store or a local shelter. Unquestionably, a clean and organized environment has a positive impact on your mental clarity and overall mood.

Comfort Food Cooking:

With the cooler air, Fall is a great time to turn that oven on or spend the day in the kitchen experimenting with fall recipes. Try using seasonal ingredients like butternut squash, apples, and cinnamon. Make a pot of soup. Or maybe a chicken pot pie. Now is the perfect time to test new recipes for the upcoming holidays!

With our abundance of squash this growing season, we have focused on trying new ways to use it. So far we’ve found that Patty Pan Squash paired with tomatoes, feta and some spices makes a great Greek Dish. And that Spaghetti squash is a delightful compliment to Pork Medallions when teamed with ginger and rosemary! I’m looking forward to harvesting our pumpkins and making pumpkin chili and pumpkin soup for the cold winter nights that are coming.

Cooking is something that can be fun and relaxing when we team up with our partner and let ourselves focus on the experience and being together. When you are with someone you love, preparing healthy, homemade meals can be a fulfilling and nurturing experience. And it’s better for our bodies!

Spa Night:

This weekend, why not create a spa-like atmosphere at home. Pampering yourself can help alleviate stress and improve your overall well-being. Start with lighting some candles. Playing soft music. Take a long, hot bath with Epsom salts. Maybe use a facial mask and indulge in a soothing skincare routine. Close your eyes and let your body soak in the warmth of the water.

Afterward rest quietly and practice Yoga Nidra, a relaxing meditation, doing less instead of more. Simply lie in stillness and allow your mind to rest. Your subconscious will awaken.

Mindfulness Activities:

Practicing mindfulness can help us stay grounded as we transition seasons. Look for events in your community like a Sound Bath, Forest Bathing, Outdoor Yoga (before the coolness really sets in), or even a Fall Day Retreat like the one we will be hosting on Oct 14.

Fall Into Healing. Fall Into Nature brings Mindfulness and Nature together for a full day of Self-Care. On this day-long Healing Retreat, you will have the opportunity to experience five different techniques of Ecotherapy: Nature Meditation, Physical Activity (yoga and hiking), Forest Bathing, Animal Therapeutics, and Horticulture Therapy. If you are near SW Michigan or up for traveling to our Sanctuary, we still have spaces open. And if you register today, you get another mindfulness activity to use this fall, Mind Training 101 for absolutely FREE!

Short on time? You can still be mindful by simply noticing your breath. For example, one simple breathing exercise I use regularly is breathing deep into the belly to a count of 4, (a count of 3 or 5 works just as well) pause and then slowly release, allowing that exhale to be longer and slower than the inhale. This simple technique engages our parasympathetic nervous system, which is calming and nurturing and where we are our best selves!

Another mindfulness activity is journaling! Writing your desires, feelings or disappointments can help gain clarity and release negative emotions. Or maybe start a gratitude journal to reflect on the things you’re thankful for this fall. Furthermore, expressing gratitude can shift your focus toward positivity and foster a sense of contentment. Think of it as a jump start to Thanksgiving!

Create or Update your Vision Board:

Have you heard of RAS? The Reticular Activating System. Physically it’s the part of the brain that connects the subconscious part of the brain to the conscious part of the brain. See your brain takes in so much information, it must filter out those that it deems important to you and that which is not. For example, if someone tells you to find everything blue in the room and you look around the room, you notice all the blue, but then they ask you what was red, you have no idea because your brain filtered that out.

With a vision board, you are basically telling your brain what to look for. That these things are important to you. It primes your brain to find the opportunities to make it reality!  Obviously, this is why everyone should have a vision board!

What better activity to do on a rainy fall afternoon than to search magazines or the internet for pictures of what you desire. Then putting them on a board and looking at it every day so that your mind can better help you create the opportunity for your desires to become reality!

Embrace the Change

Fall is a wonderful season to prioritize self-care and embrace the changing rhythms of life. By incorporating these self-care ideas into your routine, you can make the most of the autumn season, nurture your well-being, and prepare yourself for the months ahead. Remember, taking care of yourself is a year-round commitment, and it’s essential to cherish the beauty of each season as it comes.

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Throughout my years of personal development, emotions always seem to have a way of finding themselves in the theory of living a better life.

Control  your emotions.

You have moving toward and moving away emotions, a theory of Tony Robbins.

Feel your emotions in the moment.

All sorts of guidance to living a better life by somehow managing your emotions.

But have you ever looked at emotions as an observer? Seeing them through the lens of a scientist. Noticing the cause and effect, but not trying to change them.

And really, what are these things called emotions?

The other day, in the Explore Laugh Play group, our activity was watching cartoons.  I chose to watch Care Bears, a cartoon where each bear is a particular emotion. Then there was a movie from a few years ago, I think it was called Inside Out. It was a children’s movie, all about our internal feelings. Our emotions.

So, emotions are how we feel about things that happen in our lives.

But how do we decide to feel one way or another?

Why do some things make us feel happy and other things make us feel sad, and other things may make us angry? And why do they not have the same effect on everyone? We all experience emotions differently. Why is that?

An Internal Feedback System

After much thought and enlightenment from numerous books and seminars, I’ve come to realize our emotions are simply our internal feedback system. What are they giving us feedback on?  Good question.

I believe it’s feedback on our values. On what is important to us. What we believe to be important.

When we feel happy, that is our internal feedback system letting us know that the current situation is something we have placed a high value on. Because things we value, are important to us. They make us happy.

When we get angry, (which I used to tell my children to avoid, but boy how wrong that was), it is again feedback that whatever just happened is not aligned with our values. In fact, what makes us angry is usually in complete contradiction to our values.

However, I’ve learned more recently, that trying to avoid our anger doesn’t support us. In fact, it hurts us. It doesn’t allow us to truly be our authentic selves. When we avoid anger, we also avoid acknowledging what we value. Again, what is most important to us.

When we observe and listen to the feedback our emotions provide for us, and we continue to focus on our values, that is when we are in the present moment, being exactly who we are meant to be.

Let Emotions Guide, Not Control

Utilizing this guidance system though doesn’t mean allowing it to take full control. That could result in allowing our amygdala to take over, letting ourselves go into a Fight, Flight, or Freeze response. We know when we engage the sympathetic nervous system, we are not in our most powerful state. We are in survival mode, which can save us from danger, but it rarely, if ever, allows us to grow and become more of who we are meant to be.

When we can allow our emotions to surface, and we can observe them without allowing them to control our actions, we can gain a better understanding of our values and our belief system.

So the next time you feel angry, sad, excited, or scared, stop and observe. What is causing this emotion? How is aligned with my values? What values surface with this emotion, either in alignment or out of alignment. Allow yourself to feel, without becoming the emotion. We are not our emotions, they are just our guidance system.

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Are you one of the many who complain you never have enough time?

You’ll read that book when you have more time.

Getting together with an old friend will happen when you have more time.

You’ll start a side hustle when you have more time.

That massage will get scheduled when you have more time.

Yet, we know, we never get more time. There are 24 hours in a day or a total of 1,440 minutes. A week has  7 days. There never will be 8, 7 is all you get. There are 365 days in a year and occasionally 366, but never more than that!

Time is constant. It is not changing. Yet we continue to complain, not get things done, and wait till we have more time.

You may have heard me talk about Stress, and that Stress, as a mathematical equation simply is all our pressures less our capacity. But Capacity is Not Time. But many of us have high levels of stress because we believe there is NOT ENOUGH TIME.

Well, let me tell you…

There is always enough time.

But many of us tend to do this one thing that sucks our time away, again and again.

Now you may be thinking it’s scrolling on social media. It’s not.

Think it’s watching too much TV. It’s not.

If you’ve ever been in meetings with no agenda or leadership, you may think that’s it. But no, it isn’t.

Got kids? You may be thinking it’s all their activities – but hey, that is definitely not a waste of time!  That’s just being a parent.

So what is this one thing that hijacks all our time?

Worry! Allowing our mind to spend its energy focused on concern without taking any action.

It’s that last part that makes it a time-waster! Without action, we’re just spending our energy without solving the issue. We’re stuck in a primal state of no action. When we are worrying, we are engaging the sympathetic nervous system. We’re in freeze mode. Doing nothing but thinking of our problems.

It’s even worse when we worry about potential problems. Things that haven’t even happened yet.

Why do we worry?

Think about it for a minute, why do you worry?

Worry is not the same as problem-solving. Problem-solving is a good use of our time. But problem-solving is a powerful use of our brain. We are focused not on the distress of the problem, but on solutions. When we are problem-solving, we are looking at what action to take.

When we are worried we are questioning. Why did this happen? What if things get worse? What-if’ing everything.

Now if we can use what-if to define solutions, basically using WOOP, a method psychologist Gabriele Oettingen created to help create solutions for obstacles that most likely will present themselves before they do. Creating solutions is not worrying.  That again, is problem-solving, a good thing.

It’s a fine line between worry and WOOPing!

So why do we worry, meaning why do we obsess about a problem but take no action, don’t try to problem-solve, just incessantly think about it?

I don’t have the answer. It makes no sense. Yet we all do it.

I found myself doing a lot of it this past week. And even though I know it was not helping me in the least little bit, I decided to observe it.

What did I notice?

Worrying used up all my time and energy.

Now I didn’t sit and worry,  I did things. I cleaned. Scrolled through social media. I watched the news. I even tried to tell myself that researching herbs and farms was not worrying. And maybe it wasn’t. But it was all distractions as my mind kept coming back to worry.

Worry, my mind distracted by thoughts of fear or indecision, stopped me from achieving the simple tasks I set out to do. These persistent worrying thoughts held me back from achieving what I intended to do for the day.

Why? Because I was in a primal state. Instead of engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, I spent most of my time in the sympathetic, Fight, Flight, Freeze. I was not thriving, I was barely surviving. When we are in a primal state, which is whenever we are engaged in the sympathetic nervous system, we do not make good use of our time. Our energy is sucked right out of us.

Worry is the same as FREEZE. Worry keeps us from moving forward.

1. Thinking something will magically change, we freeze without finding solutions.
2. When we feel overwhelmed we freeze without making a decision or taking action.
3. We Freeze because maybe it’s not our problem to solve.

Let’s look at #3 first.

Worrying about someone else’s problems

We all have people we love that we want to help when they have problems or are feeling down or depressed. It’s difficult to not worry about them. But ask yourself, is worrying helping them?  Instead of worry, do something. Call them. Be a sounding board. If they ask for specific assistance, do it. Yes, help them as much as you can. But when you begin to do down the road of worry, notice it. Think, “Is there anything I can do that will help them?” If not, accept that because you refuse to worry about them does not mean you don’t care. Let them know you are there to listen, to help them take action, but if there is nothing you can do, let go.

This is where the Serenity Prayer comes in.

“God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

When we know the difference, we can let go. If we are mindful of the fact that we cannot change anything, we can see that worry does nothing. It solves nothing.

Letting go, not worrying, does not mean that we don’t care about our loved ones. It does not mean that we won’t take action if we can. It simply means we are not helping them and we are not helping ourselves when we sit and worry.

Let’s move to #2

Worrying without taking action

This kind of worry is where we pretend we are problem-solving, but in reality, it’s just another form of worry.

This is where we WANT to solve the problem at hand, but, going back to the serenity prayer, we don’t always have the courage to take action.

We research and analyze all potential solutions, yet we just keep on doing that, refusing to make a decision and take action.

We are locked in FREEZE mode. No action just worry. Thinking of all the what-ifs, but not committing to any solution. In the business world, we call this “analysis paralysis.” It’s great to analyze things to make an informed decision, and take appropriate action, but when all we do is keep coming up with potential steps to take, we are wasting the valuable time given to us. That set amount of time that never changes.

Why don’t we commit to a solution and take action?

The number one reason is we are scared of making the wrong decision. So instead of making any decision, we do nothing.

But is any decision a wrong decision? Why is it that because we make a decision that does not produce our desired results, we say it was the wrong decision?

What if we were able to say that any decision gets us closer to solving the problem at hand. If we don’t get the results at first, we learn from that. The next decision may bring us closer to the ultimate solution. We now know more about the problem and what will and not work.

Taking no action is the ultimate wrong decision as it guarantees nothing will change and are stuck exactly where we are.

So how do we let go of fear? I find the easiest way is to believe that no decision is wrong. That every decision, every step we take, leads us closer to whatever we desire. Once we believe there is no such thing as failure, we empower ourselves to make a decision.

Let’s move to #1.

Worrying about the problem by ignoring it

Have you ever found yourself worried about something, so you decide to clean out your closet? Or maybe you decide to go grocery shopping or do the laundry.

Our mind is still thinking about the problem, but unlike scenario #2, here we just focus on the problem and we don’t even think of potential solutions. We avoid solving the problem.  But we don’t let our minds let go of thinking about it.

This is different than letting go because we can’t do anything about it. When this type of worry appears, it uses up all our energy as we keep thinking about the problem, but then shifting our focus to mundane tasks.  It doesn’t stop the worry really, it just prolongs it because the problem is still there.

Many times we are grouchy when this worry presents itself.  When we snap at our children or spouse or co-workers. We’re anxious because we have this problem to solve but we don’t even want to think of the solutions. It may be because we don’t feel we have any control or maybe we feel we are not capable. Both are inaccurate.

We always have control. Making a decision is entirely within our control.

Not capable? We can do more than we know. Perhaps it’s just believing the words of Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich, “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

Deciding we have full control of our lives and that we can achieve whatever we desire, is the first step in not letting this type of worry hijack our days.

Take time back

Once we learn to observe our worry patterns, we can begin to take action as to how to resolve our problems rather than waste time worrying.

Notice that we’re avoiding the problem and instead of weeding the yard we actually sit down and identify solutions.

We can notice when we have numerous solutions, but we continue to fret and analyze our options. Then we can stop and decide on one solution, letting go of any fear, knowing that the result, whatever it is, gets us one step closer to resolving the problem.

When we cannot change things, when it’s someone else’s problem and all we can do is offer support, we can let go. And when we let go, we can move forward in resolving those issues within our power.

Make use of a Forest Bathing Invitation I use… The Worry Stone.

Find a stone, tell it your worries, and then ask the stone to care for your worries. Leave it in the yard where you can come back to it when you are ready to take action. They will not longer be worries, but problems to solve. Let the stone have your worries, so you can  have your time!

The post Stop This One Thing And Get A Bunch Of Time Back! appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Teaching Aqua Yoga I have had a number of students comment about the temperature of the water. Usually that it’s too cold and it can’t be the stated temperature of 84 degrees. Even in St Croix, a number of guests felt the water to be cold and wanted to ensure our next practice would be when the sun was bright and high in the sky. Not early in the morning as they thought at that time of day, the water would be too cold.

Made sense to me. The water would warm up during the day and of course, would be colder in the morning and warmer in the afternoon.

But…

One guest had brought a thermometer to check our human observation of the senses and scientifically measure the temperature. And guess what?

The temperature barely changed. The water in the pool maintained between 84 and 86 degrees every time we looked at it!

But how could that be? The water definitely felt colder at times and warmer at other times.

I am not a scientist, but I believe it all has to do with the temperature of the air. When the air temp exceeded the temperature of the water, the water felt cold, regardless of its real temperature. And when the air temp was below the air temperature, the water felt warm and enjoyable.  It didn’t’ matter the actual temperature of the water. Our perception changed based on what was happening outside the water. The temperature was constant, but the temperature of the air was not.

We are like the consistent water temperature.

Who we are on the inside is sort of like the temperature of the water, it fluctuates, but only slightly. However, it may not seem that way based on what is happening outside of us.

When we are faced with adversity, our sympathetic nervous system may kick in and we may seem angry or sad. But WE are NOT anger or sadness, we are still the person we have always been.

Or perhaps when faced with a challenge, we step up. We become laser-focused and determined. Did we change or is it the outside situation that is simply highlighting a part of us that has always been there?

Life can bring turmoil to our lives. It can bring joy to our lives. Yet, no matter the circumstances, aren’t we still that same person? The perception of who we are seems to change. In reality, it is what is happening on the outside that brings about that illusion.

Most of the time, not always, as sometimes we do make significant changes in our disposition, but for the most part, who we are is consistent. Our values are at our core, and they lead us through each situation.

It is the situation that changes, not us.

VIA Character Strengths

This is how I’ve gained a better understanding of the VIA Character Strengths, a tool I use in my coaching practice. In the early part of this century, Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson led a 3-year study to research, and classify the positive aspects or traits found in human beings. They studied cultures across the globe, throughout time, and even pop culture. This culminated in a list of 24 Character Strengths, classified within 6 virtues, and the movement to focus individual awareness on the positive aspects of what makes us who we are.

VIA stands for Values in Action. I see these character strengths as 24 human values. Values we all possess, but in different ways. Thus, making each of us a unique personality, a unique individual. This study is at the forefront of the positive psychology movement.

Positive psychology is about focusing on what is right with us, rather than what is wrong with us. We spend so much time in our lives trying to correct our flaws, instead of focusing our energies on our positive qualities. Research shows that when we focus on the positive and let go of our negatives, we are happier. We achieve more. We become who we are meant to be.

Our Values are Consistent

For the most part, our values, our character strength profile, remain consistent. I’ve taken the survey a number of times. And although some strengths move a bit, there hasn’t been a groundbreaking change without me mindfully working at it. (Zest is one that I mindfully worked at and moved higher up on the scale, meaning I now use it more often. It was always there, I simply decided I wanted to use more of it. You can read more about that journey in my eclectic thoughts from 4/15/2021)

You see, it’s because we are who we are; a unique individual being with our own way of living and seeing the world.

When the world presents different situations, we utilize what is already inside of us to navigate through the challenges. It’s not that we changed, the outside world has changed and thus the perception of reactions may seem different. But just like the temperature of the water in the pool was consistently between 84 and 86 degrees, we are consistent in who we are, in our values in action.

Look at it another way. We all have the value or character strength of love. We all have a relationship, whether it be a friend, partner, parent, or caregiver that we actively love. Yet, we may not always show it. It’s not that our love for them changes, the external world changes. Perhaps they need our support, so we call them daily, check in and lend a hand. But then there are times they are busy with their lives, maybe their career or studies, and we don’t talk to them for weeks or even months. Did our love for them change? No, the circumstances outside of us changed.

We are the temperature of the water.

We are constant. Without intention, we don’t change. Our circumstances and the world around us changes, bringing out different aspects of our Internal Self. But those different aspects are always there.

Curious to know more about your Character Strength Profile?  Take the free survey and schedule a discovery call with me!  Discover what makes you, well you!

Or join me on Thursday, May 19 for a Free Workshop – Create You, where you will learn you will discover 3 Simple tools to Create the Life You Crave, one of them being using your character strengths!

The post Things Aren’t Always What They Seem appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

I’ve been on hiatus from writing for the last month. I decide to consciously spend time with family and friends. Which got me thinking. I talk a lot of consciously creating a life and body you love, but what really do I mean by that?

When Mark and I decided to create Eclectic Well-Being, we had a vision of helping people gain clarity on their well-being, including their health, their mindset, and their relationships. We struggled for years creating and recreating our lives. It wasn’t until the kids were in college and after I turned 50 that we went inward, finding ourselves again. And once we started yoga and then mindset work, we realized we were actually creating our lives. We were Consciously Creating our days, our goals, and our activities.

Consciously creating your life takes 3 steps, the first being, understanding your spiritual vision, your reason for being, your why.

What’s Your Why?

Do you know your why? Your reason for getting up each morning. I believe it changes over the course of our lives, but the changes are more a difference in interpretation. How we live our why. Take Oprah. As a child, she wanted to be a teacher. She wanted to be known for inspiring her students to be more than they thought they could be. Although she landed up as a talk show host, isn’t she teaching and inspiring us all?

I remember years ago, maybe just a few years after Mark and I were married, in an argument, asking Mark what his purpose was. He looked at me like deer in headlights. He had no idea.  At that point in my life my why was to raise my kids to be independent. To be compassionate and loving. To be their own person.  Being unique and being who they were meant to be was important to me. I never wanted my kids, or anyone to pretend to be someone they aren’t.  Mark at that point in his life didn’t have the mindfulness and mindset training to understand his purpose yet.

The Values Exercise

However, he had recently joined BNI and their founder, Ivan Misner co-wrote a book, Whose In Your Room. I picked it up and work through the exercises. Chapter 24 was my favorite as it’s all about your values and your values dictate your why. It’s the first step to truly understand your why.

The exercise starts with first understanding the importance of consciously (yes, the book actually uses that word) identifying your values. Because when you acknowledge them, you are more apt to actually live them.  When presented with what to do in our lives, we can use our values to make our decisions and ensure our actions are aligned with our higher being, our values.

The book provides 4 steps: 1) Identify the times when you were the happiest. 2) List the times when you felt a sense of pride. 3) Identify the times when you were most fulfilled and satisfied. 4)Determine your top values based on your past experiences of happiness, pride and fulfillment.

The results of this exercise are still saved as a note on my phone It’s there to remind me whenever I’m struggling on a decision.

Each of my top values has a declaration that goes with it, a personal context of how one views the particular value. Below is what I wrote on August 6, 2014, and was probably the first step I took in consciously creating the life I have now.

Honesty/ Trust

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Whether it is professional, volunteer, family, or friends, if there is no trust and honesty between each person, the relationship is bound to fail or end in disappointment for one or both parties. Originally, I had authenticity separate, but have now included here since an honest person is also authentic, as to be authentic, one must be honest with themselves.  If one cannot be honest with themselves, they will find it very difficult to be honest with others.

Nature

Nature is my god. When people comment about their faith, I look at nature and feel in awe.  Nature has a way of living each day, creating beauty over time, and recognizing that everything has a purpose. I would rather be out in nature any day of the week then be indoors or be in a city or museum or church.  The beauty that just happens is more than any religion can give me. Nature and all its beauty is my faith in life and living every moment.

Contribution

Contribution is the value that connects me to others and to the world at large. I believe one must contribute something to this world, that we are all unique in our mix of qualities and that we are each meant to bring something to this life. Although I may not believe in God, I do believe we all touch each other’s lives without even knowing it. This must be the reason I love the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. He contributed to his family and community and didn’t really understand how many lives he touched.

Learning and Personal Growth

I value learning and personal growth because I believe this is what keeps our minds active. Our individual learning leads to a community of learning and I know some may object, or call me snobbish, but by better understanding the world, sciences, math, etc , it is then we can improve human life and this world we live in.  Ignorance solves nothing. Ignorance cannot contribute to society. Ignorance leads to misunderstandings. Thus, I truly believe everyone must strive to continuously improve themselves, to improve our world.

Leadership/Mentoring/Coaching

I get enormous joy from mentoring young people. This is why I stay so involved in Sigma Kappa and why I am pursuing a second career in teaching.  I enjoy and value leadership because it is a way to pass along knowledge and if I value knowledge – I want to share that knowledge with others.  This is how the world can improve, people can better understand and begin to also value knowledge and personal growth.

Travel/ Explore

I wasn’t sure if this was one of my values but after realizing my happiest memories are of traveling to new and old places and spending time just exploring I realized how much I do value travel as another way to learn and grow while also just learning to relax and enjoy nature. Travel allows me to really enjoy those values in a more focused way.

Commitment/Dependable

These in my humble opinion, are good behavior values. Someone should not commit to something if they have no intention of keeping that commitment.  When making commitments, one should not take it lightly. If they are unsure they can follow thru, they should be honest.  Once a promise is made, it should take something quite serious to break it. This goes in personal relationships, like marriage, work projects, volunteer assignments, and anything we have made a commitment to.  This is highlighted in my desire to always be punctual.

Yes this was written over 7 years ago, and all are still relevant today.

I highly recommend that even if you think you know your why, that you do this exercise. If nothing else, it will provide you a manifesto of your spiritual vision to share or keep somewhere just in case you need it!

VIA Character Strengths

Another option, not exactly the same, but can also help you define your purpose, is to know your Character Strengths. VIA Character Strengths are defined as the positive personality traits that define your unique identity. Just like our values can be used and interpreted differently, so can your character strengths, which makes each of us unique! You can take your Free VIA Character Strength Survey at http://eclecticwellbeing.pro.viasurvey.org and then schedule a call with me if you’d like to review.

In next week’s Eclectic Thoughts, we’ll tackle the second step of consciously creating a life you love and that is Visualizing and Finding Clarity of the life you want to live.

Till next week……..

The post What It Means to Consciously Create a Life You Love appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Have you ever wanted to do something, but a voice in your head told you all the reasons why you couldn’t possibly do it?

For example, maybe you want to hike the Appalachian Trail!  It’s actually on my bucket list and has been for quite some time.  But then a  voice says, “you can’t hike more than 5 miles without your knees bothering you.”  And another voice tells you you’re too old.  Another voice chimes in, “And when do you have the time to take 3 months or more off of work to do that?”  And yet another says, “Yea, right, the first night sleeping in a tent and you’ll give up.”

That’s the Monkey Mind.

The Monkey Mind is the voices that go from one thing to another, usually reinforcing negative thoughts. Other monkeys may not be as negative, but they bop around from one thing to another, always wanting more and these monkeys are never satisfied.

Buddha described the human mind as being filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly. Buddha said, “We all have monkey minds, with dozens of monkeys all clamoring for attention.”

If you’re a dog lover, think of it this way, when the monkey mind is active, your dog is taking you for a walk.  Leading you wherever he wants to go.  Taming the monkey – well that’s taking control and taking the dog for a walk.

A Hostile Universe

Einstein once said, “the most important decision you make is whether you live in a friendly Universe, or a hostile one.” If you decide you live in a hostile universe, you are going to have a lot of monkeys showing you every reason that is true. If you decide you live in a hostile universe, you find fault with everyone. You honestly believe the world is out to get you.  And the monkeys, will find you proof even if at first you don’t see it.

The Monkeys are that part of the mind that stops us from doing things either because it tells us we can’t, or it points out that someone else does it better or a host of other reasons.  It brings up fear and doubt in our selves. It reinforces our belief in a hostile universe.

But if you decide you live in a friendly universe, you find you have less monkeys.  You still have a monkey mind, but because you believe the universe is always working for you, there is a bit less chattering to deal with.

Worry and Overwhelm

The monkey mind really kicks in when we are feeling overwhelmed or worried.  For example, a number of years ago my knee was in pain like all the time due to a torn meniscus.  The doctor sent me to PT and said if that didn’t work I would need surgery.  Before I made it home my monkeys had already told me, “Just have the surgery.”

“You won’t keep up with the exercises.”

“Well there goes hiking the Appalachian trail or going to Machu Pichu.”

“You might as well face it, you’ll be needing a cane just like your mom in a few years.”

Yep, all those thoughts just on the drive home.

And then when Mark and I found ourselves on a somewhat challenging trail ( we kept losing the markers and it was quite rocky) in Acadia National Park, right at sunset, I freaked out!  My monkey mind went wild. “You’re never going to make it back.”

“We’re going to land up spending the night in the woods.”

OMG what were you thinking hiking with my bad knee!“

Have you been there? Have you let your monkey mind control your thoughts, make you crazy worried and thinking irrationally?  Those monkeys can put us right into Fight Flight or freeze! And then we land up doing nothing or reacting in a way that really does us no good.

So with all those monkey’s in our heads, how do we calm them, get them to slow down, because I haven’t found anyone that has completely gotten rid of them?

Mindfulness and Meditation

If you are thinking Meditation is this yogi thing of sitting in a cross-legged position and being all Zen, it’s not!  At least not my experience!

I see mediation and mindfulness as workouts for your brain.

You probably don’t think anything of being told to be in better physical health to get out and move your body more. You know, to work it out!  Maybe you need upper body strength, so your trainer or friend at the gym says do so pushups. Maybe you’re like me and need some core strength, so the PT has you do some crunches or planks.  We accept that to keep our bodies in shape or sometimes too keep the working, we have to do some physical workouts!

Why is it such a surprise that in order to strengthen our mindset, reduce the chatter of the monkey mind, we need to be more mindful and to meditate?

If you want better health, it starts with the right mindset.  If you want a better job, its starts with the right mindset. If you want better relationships, it starts with the right mindset.  There is nothing you desire that doesn’t start with your mindset!

But the right mindset means controlling those monkeys and not letting them control you!

If you have a meditation practice – Awesome!  Keep it up!

If you don’t, and those monkeys start their unwanted conversations in your head, how do you tame them?

Breathe

Notice the chatter and then just breathe.  This one simple technique is the foundation of a mediation and something I’m sure you’ve been told before.

“Take a breath.”

“Just breathe.”

“Count to 10 and breathe.”

When we can focus on our breath, we stop the chatter.  When we stop the chatter, we stop the monkey mind from controlling our thoughts.  We can then think clearly, more rationally, and we can become more in tune with our authentic self and our authentic thoughts!

Learn more about meditation and the different techniques by joining one of our 3 mindset classes.

Mind Work on Monday’s at 6pm with Amy. This is a 30-minute class designed to reset your thoughts through a variety of mind exercises.

Mind Rest on Wednesday’s at 7:30pm with yours truly! Based on the traditional practice of Yoga Nidra, this class helps to reduce anxiety, heal trauma, improve sleep and to fully relax, becoming more receptive to new thought patterns.

And finally end the week on Friday at 7pm with Rest and Renew with our own Marshmallow Queen, Julie! Here you take a pause with a Restorative Yoga class where you will rest and calm both the body and the mind!

If you are an Essentials Member or Coaching Client, these classes can be accessed live or recorded through or exclusive membership site.

Not a member?  Take a class on us! Or become an Essentials Member for just $27 a month!

Whether it’s with us, an app, or your own meditation practice, take control of your monkey mind!

Reduce the chatter!  And start consciously creating a life you love!

The post The Chattering Monkey Mind appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.