Do adults need to play?

If you had asked me a decade ago what adults needed more of, I might have said time, leadership skills, personal development, maybe even purpose. But after the year we all had in 2020, and after years of coaching people through burnout, reinvention, and transition, I’ve realized something so much deeper.

We don’t need more time.
We need to develop our skills and have a purpose, but that can’t be our only focus.
And we don’t just need rest in order to live more fully.

We need play.

Yes, adults. Grown-ups with jobs, children,to-do lists and aching backs. We need to play—just as much as children do, maybe even more.

In 2021, I created a little summer project called Explore Laugh Play.  It was 30 days to invigorate one’s spirit through play. Explore Laugh Play was my attempt to help us all find our way back to joy after a year of so much uncertainty and grief. I thought we needed a break. We needed time to enjoy life. Be free.

What I didn’t realize was that we were also missing a fundamental part of our well-being.

What I Learned: Play Isn’t Optional. It’s Essential

That first year, I began to see it in myself, in Mark, and in the clients and friends who joined the program: play isn’t just a nice way to pass the time. It’s a lifeline to mental and emotional wellness.

I recall going to our local park in NJ to make a short video on my phone to promote the program and running into the wife of my son’s best friend. At first, I was a little embarrassed. An almost 60 year old woman recording herself on the slide and swings while blowing bubbles! She asked me what I was doing. I explained to her the program and she smiled! She seemed to think it was a great idea and something we all needed. It was then, I knew I was on  to something.

Play supports everything from mood to memory, from relationships to resilience.

🧠 Neuroscience tells us that play strengthens our prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, planning, and emotional regulation.

💛 Studies show that play reduces cortisol levels, improves social bonding, and even helps us recover from trauma.

📚 The National Institute for Play reports that regular play helps adults stay more optimistic, flexible, and emotionally connected. PsychCentral adds that it can foster better problem-solving skills and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.

In short: play makes us feel young. It ignites our curiosity and innocence.

But What Is Play for Adults?

Play isn’t just about toys or games. Play doesn’t have to be planned or intentional.

What is PLAY when you’re an adult?

Play is anything that brings joy, spontaneity, creativity, and lightness into your life.

It might be:

• Dancing while you cook
• Making up stories with your grandkids
• Hiking a trail with no destination in mind
• Singing loudly in the car
• Doing something just for the joy of it—not for achievement or approval

Play is any activity where the goal is the experience itself. Not productivity. Not performance. Just presence.

And that’s where the transformation happens.

Why Adults Resist Play—And Why We Shouldn’t

Somewhere along the line, we were taught that play is just for kids. That if we’re not being productive, we’re wasting time. Silliness and joy should be saved for vacations and earned after hard work.

But that’s not what the science says.

And that’s not what our hearts say either.

Adults who give themselves permission to play on a regular basis report feeling more connected to others, more creative in their work, and more emotionally resilient in the face of stress. They sleep better. Laugh more. When life throws a curveball, they bounce back faster. They are resilient and we know resiliency promotes better mental health and well-being.

Those who make time to play, live more fully.

Why I’m Bringing Explore Laugh Play Back Again For Year #5

Every summer since 2021, Mark and I have come back to this simple truth: when we make space for play, everything else in life feels lighter. Problems seem more manageable. Our connection deepens. Our perspective shifts. And joy becomes something we don’t have to chase—it’s right there in our ordinary moments.

That’s why this summer, we’re once again inviting you to join us in Explore Laugh Play.

But we’re making it even easier.

Instead of a daily commitment, we’ll send just one playful prompt every Saturday morning from the first day of summer—June 21—through August 30, the Saturday of Labor Day weekend.

Each email will give you something to try, reflect on, or enjoy—on your own or with someone you love. No pressure. No perfection. Just presence. Just play.

Because the truth is: the world needs more playful grown-ups.
And so do our families.
And so do our hearts.

What You Gain When You Choose to Play

It’s one thing to say “play is good for you,” but what does that actually mean? What happens when you intentionally bring more play into your daily life?

Let’s talk about the real benefits—because play is not just about feel-good fluff. The benefits are life-changing and science backed:

🧠 Sharper Thinking & Better Problem Solving:

Play stimulates the brain in a way that boosts creativity, curiosity, and flexible thinking. Studies show that playful adults are better at adapting to change and thinking outside the box—critical skills when facing life’s inevitable twists and turns.

💞 Stronger, Healthier Relationships:

Play is a powerful connector. Whether it’s sharing laughter with a partner, goofing off with a friend, or playing a silly game with your grandkids, these moments deepen intimacy and build trust. Play fosters emotional safety, improves communication, and helps resolve conflict with less tension.

💆 Less Anxiety, More Calm:

When we’re in a playful state, our stress hormones—especially cortisol—go down. Just a few minutes of joyful activity can shift your mood, relax your nervous system, and remind your brain that it’s safe to breathe again. In fact, incorporating playful practices has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and even help with mild depression.

🧓 Protects Cognitive Health & Reduces Dementia Risk:

Yes, really. Engaging regularly in playful, mentally stimulating activities helps preserve memory and executive functioning. Research cited by the American Journal of Play and NPR shows that adults who continue to play—especially socially—maintain better brain health and lower their risk of cognitive decline.

When you choose to play, you’re not stepping away from personal growth—you’re stepping into a version of it that’s more sustainable, joyful, and deeply effective.

This isn’t just about fun (though fun is part of it!).
It’s about living with more vitality, more ease, and more connection.

How to Join

If you’re ready to bring more lightness into your life, more laughter into your weekend, and more resilience into your routines, this program is for you.

It’s completely free. No catch. Just an open-hearted invitation.

👉 https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/explorelaughplay2025

Let this summer be the one where you don’t just survive—you thrive.

You deserve joy. You deserve connection.
And yes—you absolutely deserve to play.

It starts this Saturday! Sign Up Now!

The post Why Adults Need to Play: Reclaiming Joy, One Moment at a Time appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

I’m going through one of those times now. As Mark recovers, the weight of keeping everything in balance has been pressing down on me. I’ve longed to get out and soak in the fall colors, but instead, I’ve been at home managing daily demands. And while I know the tools to lift myself up, I also know that finding a way back to peace takes time.

Depression affects so many. In fact, about 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. experience mental health struggles each year. We’re not alone in these feelings. What I know is this: life isn’t always bright, but in the dimmest times, there are ways to find a flicker of light.

For anyone else who may be feeling low, I’d like to share a few ways to move through it, not as a cure-all. But as gentle reminders that these feelings are temporary, and hope is always around the corner. And while I know all the tools to lift myself up—the practices I teach and believe in—they’re not a quick fix. But when we commit to using them, these practices gently start to work, helping us shift our mindset, and inviting light back into the dimmest days.

If you’re feeling down too, here are a few things we can try together:

Finding Light in the Small Things

Gratitude can feel like a buzzword. But it truly has transformative power.  Gratitude has the power to shift our perspective, especially when it feels like nothing is going your way, when life feels challenging. It doesn’t magically make everything better, but it does help see the good that’s still there.

Lately, I’ve found myself grounding in small, simple things, like a warm cup of cacao tea, something I picked up last spring during our retreat to Costa Rica.  These moments may seem minor, but they’re a reminder that beauty still exists all around us, even in difficult times.

I also tune into Grateful by Nimo Patel, a beautiful song that has become a sort of anthem for me when things seem to be going in the wrong direction. If you haven’t heard it, it’s worth a listen. It echoes this very truth: “The gift to realize that everything is a gift.”.

Do you want to amplify your gratitude muscle with me and learn to invoke gratitude more often, consider joining my upcoming 10-Day Gratitude Challenge starting November 19. This challenge will include ten days of guided activities designed to strengthen our ability to be grateful for all aspects of our lives, even the challenging ones. Gratitude takes practice, and this challenge is a perfect way to start building that muscle.  This will be 10 days of practicing gratitude in new and fun ways. It ends on Thanksgiving, a day set aside just to simply practice gratitude.

When we pause to appreciate what we have—especially during hard times—we create a little more space for hope. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring our struggles; it’s about balancing the scales. Finding  one or two small things to appreciate can shift our perspective, even if just a little. When we practice gratitude regularly, it becomes a habit that, over time, naturally softens our more challenging emotions.

Remembering That Feelings Are Temporary

Mindfulness reminds us that no feeling, however heavy, is permanent. Feelings come and go, like waves on the shore. We don’t always have control over the waves, but we can learn to observe them, knowing they’re temporary. Things may not be going your way today, but in an instance things can change.

One of the core teachings in mindfulness is learning to sit with our emotions without judgment. When we label feelings as “bad,” we amplify their intensity. But when we simply observe them, we start to see them as passing waves. It’s okay to feel low—these feelings don’t define us. They are simply part of being human.

This realization has been such a comfort. Feelings of stress, sadness, or hopelessness can feel so consuming in the moment, but practicing mindfulness allows me to step back and notice that they will pass. The next day, I have a chance to start anew, with new energy and a new perspective. And even if that day is tough too, each morning brings with it the possibility for change.

Mindfulness gives us a gentle reminder that it’s okay to feel down. The key is not to judge those feelings or get caught up in them as if they define us. They are just part of the human experience—passing clouds that eventually make way for the sun.

Practicing mindfulness daily doesn’t require a big commitment. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a deep breath and noticing how you’re feeling. You might try sitting with your coffee for a few minutes, just tasting it and feeling its warmth. It sounds simple, but moments like this remind us to slow down and bring awareness to the present.

Rewiring Our Thought Patterns

Meditation has been a refuge for me, a place to quiet the chaos and reset my mindset. When life feels overwhelming, meditation helps create some space, allowing me to step out of negative thought loops and find calm. For anyone who feels stuck in their mind, meditation can be transformative. It’s about seeing those thoughts for what they are and learning to release them.

When things aren’t going our way, when we’re caught in a cycle of worry or doubt, it can be difficult to see past it. Meditation allows us to pause, take a breath, and create some mental space. It’s not about eliminating all negative thoughts; it’s about changing our relationship with them.

As I sit in meditation, I focus on my breath, letting go of my need to “fix” anything right away. It’s in these moments of quiet that I find a sense of calm and clarity, helping me to release the grip of negative thoughts and shift into a more hopeful mindset. I only sit for a few minutes, but a few minutes is better than 0 minutes. And I know my mind appreciates those moments.

If you’re curious about starting or deepening your meditation practice, I’m offering a Mind and Meditation Series at Lake Michigan College this November. This series is about more than just meditation; it’s a space to learn how to work with our thoughts, to redirect them, and ultimately, to invite peace back into our minds. Meditation has been my go-to these past few weeks, giving me a much-needed mental reset when the world right now feels chaotic. Not in Michigan? It’s also available digitally on our website, https://eclecticwell-being.com/programs/.

Finding Healing Right in Our Own Backyards

There’s something deeply healing about being in nature when nothing seems to be going our way. Studies have shown that simply immersing ourselves in the natural world, spending time outdoors, has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and increase feelings of well-being.

It’s not just a poetic idea; studies have proven that spending time in nature lowers cortisol levels, reduces blood pressure, and even boosts our immune system. Even if you can’t escape to the woods, simply spending a few minutes outside the house can make a difference.

I’ve found solace in my own backyard. Though I’ve longed to get away and see the vibrant fall foliage, I’ve instead found little moments of peace by observing the trees, listening to the birds, and taking in the crisp air. Even just sitting outside with my chickens or walking around my garden reminds me of the gentle, natural rhythms of life. The Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing, encourages us to immerse ourselves in nature using all our senses. Nature doesn’t rush; it simply grows and changes, and so can we.

Incorporating These Practices 

These practices—gratitude, mindfulness, meditation, and nature—are at the heart of my coaching practice. It is what I bring to every DREAM Retreat. Our yearly DREAM Retreats are something I look forward to. And looking forward to something special is a great way to break our moments of depression. Each retreat is a space to reconnect with ourselves and these essential tools, giving us time to restore and reimagine our lives. Next year we’ll bring the DREAM Process to Italy, where we’ll immerse ourselves in beautiful surroundings, reconnect with nature, and embrace moments of reflection and gratitude. Italy’s landscape will be the perfect backdrop for this journey, as we come together to find new clarity, calm, and empowerment. Just thinking of this transformative experience has my spirits uplifting!

If you’re feeling weighed down by life, I invite you to explore Il Dolce Viaggio; The Sweet Journey. It’s not a magic wand, but these retreats can be life-changing!  They provide a roadmap that leads to a more empowered and fulfilled life.

The Power of Patience and Small Steps

I’m not “up” for everything today, and maybe you’re not either. And that’s okay. Manifesting a positive life isn’t about denying the hard times when things aren’t going your way; it’s about finding ways to walk through them, one step at a time. If you’re in a rough spot, know that you’re not alone. Take it one day, one moment, one breath at a time.

In the end, I know that this isn’t about forcing myself to feel better instantly. Moving through difficult times is a process, and it requires patience. I remind myself daily that these tools take time—they’re not immediate cures, but gentle supports that lift us, day by day, toward brighter moments.

If you’re feeling down, take a moment to breathe. Find something small to be grateful for. Step outside, even if just for a minute, to feel the cool air or notice a plant blooming. Remember that every feeling, no matter how heavy, will pass. And if you’re looking for more structure, consider joining our Gratitude Challenge or the Mind and Meditation Series. Together, we’ll explore these practices and build the resilience we need to navigate life’s ups and downs.

We all face tough days. But with small, intentional steps, we can find ways to manage the load and manifest hope. Remember, this too shall pass. 🌱

The post Manifest Monday: When nothing is going your way… by Kathi Szabo appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Are you one of the many who complain you never have enough time?

You’ll read that book when you have more time.

Getting together with an old friend will happen when you have more time.

You’ll start a side hustle when you have more time.

That massage will get scheduled when you have more time.

Yet, we know, we never get more time. There are 24 hours in a day or a total of 1,440 minutes. A week has  7 days. There never will be 8, 7 is all you get. There are 365 days in a year and occasionally 366, but never more than that!

Time is constant. It is not changing. Yet we continue to complain, not get things done, and wait till we have more time.

You may have heard me talk about Stress, and that Stress, as a mathematical equation simply is all our pressures less our capacity. But Capacity is Not Time. But many of us have high levels of stress because we believe there is NOT ENOUGH TIME.

Well, let me tell you…

There is always enough time.

But many of us tend to do this one thing that sucks our time away, again and again.

Now you may be thinking it’s scrolling on social media. It’s not.

Think it’s watching too much TV. It’s not.

If you’ve ever been in meetings with no agenda or leadership, you may think that’s it. But no, it isn’t.

Got kids? You may be thinking it’s all their activities – but hey, that is definitely not a waste of time!  That’s just being a parent.

So what is this one thing that hijacks all our time?

Worry! Allowing our mind to spend its energy focused on concern without taking any action.

It’s that last part that makes it a time-waster! Without action, we’re just spending our energy without solving the issue. We’re stuck in a primal state of no action. When we are worrying, we are engaging the sympathetic nervous system. We’re in freeze mode. Doing nothing but thinking of our problems.

It’s even worse when we worry about potential problems. Things that haven’t even happened yet.

Why do we worry?

Think about it for a minute, why do you worry?

Worry is not the same as problem-solving. Problem-solving is a good use of our time. But problem-solving is a powerful use of our brain. We are focused not on the distress of the problem, but on solutions. When we are problem-solving, we are looking at what action to take.

When we are worried we are questioning. Why did this happen? What if things get worse? What-if’ing everything.

Now if we can use what-if to define solutions, basically using WOOP, a method psychologist Gabriele Oettingen created to help create solutions for obstacles that most likely will present themselves before they do. Creating solutions is not worrying.  That again, is problem-solving, a good thing.

It’s a fine line between worry and WOOPing!

So why do we worry, meaning why do we obsess about a problem but take no action, don’t try to problem-solve, just incessantly think about it?

I don’t have the answer. It makes no sense. Yet we all do it.

I found myself doing a lot of it this past week. And even though I know it was not helping me in the least little bit, I decided to observe it.

What did I notice?

Worrying used up all my time and energy.

Now I didn’t sit and worry,  I did things. I cleaned. Scrolled through social media. I watched the news. I even tried to tell myself that researching herbs and farms was not worrying. And maybe it wasn’t. But it was all distractions as my mind kept coming back to worry.

Worry, my mind distracted by thoughts of fear or indecision, stopped me from achieving the simple tasks I set out to do. These persistent worrying thoughts held me back from achieving what I intended to do for the day.

Why? Because I was in a primal state. Instead of engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, I spent most of my time in the sympathetic, Fight, Flight, Freeze. I was not thriving, I was barely surviving. When we are in a primal state, which is whenever we are engaged in the sympathetic nervous system, we do not make good use of our time. Our energy is sucked right out of us.

Worry is the same as FREEZE. Worry keeps us from moving forward.

1. Thinking something will magically change, we freeze without finding solutions.
2. When we feel overwhelmed we freeze without making a decision or taking action.
3. We Freeze because maybe it’s not our problem to solve.

Let’s look at #3 first.

Worrying about someone else’s problems

We all have people we love that we want to help when they have problems or are feeling down or depressed. It’s difficult to not worry about them. But ask yourself, is worrying helping them?  Instead of worry, do something. Call them. Be a sounding board. If they ask for specific assistance, do it. Yes, help them as much as you can. But when you begin to do down the road of worry, notice it. Think, “Is there anything I can do that will help them?” If not, accept that because you refuse to worry about them does not mean you don’t care. Let them know you are there to listen, to help them take action, but if there is nothing you can do, let go.

This is where the Serenity Prayer comes in.

“God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

When we know the difference, we can let go. If we are mindful of the fact that we cannot change anything, we can see that worry does nothing. It solves nothing.

Letting go, not worrying, does not mean that we don’t care about our loved ones. It does not mean that we won’t take action if we can. It simply means we are not helping them and we are not helping ourselves when we sit and worry.

Let’s move to #2

Worrying without taking action

This kind of worry is where we pretend we are problem-solving, but in reality, it’s just another form of worry.

This is where we WANT to solve the problem at hand, but, going back to the serenity prayer, we don’t always have the courage to take action.

We research and analyze all potential solutions, yet we just keep on doing that, refusing to make a decision and take action.

We are locked in FREEZE mode. No action just worry. Thinking of all the what-ifs, but not committing to any solution. In the business world, we call this “analysis paralysis.” It’s great to analyze things to make an informed decision, and take appropriate action, but when all we do is keep coming up with potential steps to take, we are wasting the valuable time given to us. That set amount of time that never changes.

Why don’t we commit to a solution and take action?

The number one reason is we are scared of making the wrong decision. So instead of making any decision, we do nothing.

But is any decision a wrong decision? Why is it that because we make a decision that does not produce our desired results, we say it was the wrong decision?

What if we were able to say that any decision gets us closer to solving the problem at hand. If we don’t get the results at first, we learn from that. The next decision may bring us closer to the ultimate solution. We now know more about the problem and what will and not work.

Taking no action is the ultimate wrong decision as it guarantees nothing will change and are stuck exactly where we are.

So how do we let go of fear? I find the easiest way is to believe that no decision is wrong. That every decision, every step we take, leads us closer to whatever we desire. Once we believe there is no such thing as failure, we empower ourselves to make a decision.

Let’s move to #1.

Worrying about the problem by ignoring it

Have you ever found yourself worried about something, so you decide to clean out your closet? Or maybe you decide to go grocery shopping or do the laundry.

Our mind is still thinking about the problem, but unlike scenario #2, here we just focus on the problem and we don’t even think of potential solutions. We avoid solving the problem.  But we don’t let our minds let go of thinking about it.

This is different than letting go because we can’t do anything about it. When this type of worry appears, it uses up all our energy as we keep thinking about the problem, but then shifting our focus to mundane tasks.  It doesn’t stop the worry really, it just prolongs it because the problem is still there.

Many times we are grouchy when this worry presents itself.  When we snap at our children or spouse or co-workers. We’re anxious because we have this problem to solve but we don’t even want to think of the solutions. It may be because we don’t feel we have any control or maybe we feel we are not capable. Both are inaccurate.

We always have control. Making a decision is entirely within our control.

Not capable? We can do more than we know. Perhaps it’s just believing the words of Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich, “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

Deciding we have full control of our lives and that we can achieve whatever we desire, is the first step in not letting this type of worry hijack our days.

Take time back

Once we learn to observe our worry patterns, we can begin to take action as to how to resolve our problems rather than waste time worrying.

Notice that we’re avoiding the problem and instead of weeding the yard we actually sit down and identify solutions.

We can notice when we have numerous solutions, but we continue to fret and analyze our options. Then we can stop and decide on one solution, letting go of any fear, knowing that the result, whatever it is, gets us one step closer to resolving the problem.

When we cannot change things, when it’s someone else’s problem and all we can do is offer support, we can let go. And when we let go, we can move forward in resolving those issues within our power.

Make use of a Forest Bathing Invitation I use… The Worry Stone.

Find a stone, tell it your worries, and then ask the stone to care for your worries. Leave it in the yard where you can come back to it when you are ready to take action. They will not longer be worries, but problems to solve. Let the stone have your worries, so you can  have your time!

The post Stop This One Thing And Get A Bunch Of Time Back! appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Last week I wrote about stress and that actually, stress can be a good thing if we can increase capacity.

Eustress, or good stress, is when we have plenty of pressures, but we feel challenged. We have space to work through them. We have higher levels of capacity.

How do we increase our capacity?  We engage the parasympathetic nervous system.

Two States of Being

There are only two states of being, a powerful state, which is when we are engaging the parasympathetic. When we are relaxed and restful. The second is primal, which is when we are in the sympathetic or fight, flight or freeze.

We are ALWAYS in one or the other. Think about that. We are either in fight mode or relaxed mode. There is nothing between.

You are never in both states at the same time. Throughout our days we continuously move between these two states. But creating space, creating capacity, we meet our pressures and keep stress to a minimum. We want to be in a powerful state.

When stress kicks in, when we have more pressures than we have capacity, we start to feel anxious. We feel overwhelmed. We cut ourselves off from our strengths, our logic, and ability to solve problems. Many of us slip into fight mode. We work through the anxiety, perhaps losing our temper with those around us and being short with anyone who may try to help us. We make mistakes because we are in a highly agitated state.

Others may freeze or flee. The overwhelm is unbearable and they break down. Either in tears or by quitting or just walking away and doing something else. But often walking away, unless we are walking away to relax and engage the parasympathetic nervous system, doesn’t help. Flight or freezing just puts off the pressures and we continue to stay in this agitated state.

Choose Powerful not Primal

The primal state does not allow us clarity of our thoughts. Our mind is more focused on keeping us safe, out of mortal danger (that does not exist) than thinking creatively. Allowing us to use our intelligence to figure out the best way to get the job done. When the mind is in a powerful state, when we are relaxed, we have more space and our brain can focus its awareness on opportunities that can assist us in our work.

When we have feelings of overwhelm, how can we pause, not freeze, but pause, and consciously connect to our parasympathetic nervous system? How can we consciously send clues to our brain and body to relax and create capacity?

Just Breathe

One of the simplest ways is to simply “just breathe.” What we tell our kids to do is exactly what we need to do in order to create more capacity, more space.

Long deep slow breaths send a signal to our brain that we are safe. That we can “rest and digest” or more simply, relax. There is no mortal danger and thus we can use our prefrontal cortex, our logical and rational part of the brain, rather than our amygdala, our fear center designed to keep us from danger, to rationally look at things. Deep breathing brings more oxygen to the brain which also helps us think clearer.

There are numerous breathwork techniques, but we will highlight today one that most yogis call…

Belly Breathing

Place your hands on your belly. Take a nice slow deep inhale through the nostrils and allow the breath to fill your belly, allowing the belly to expand. When you feel you can’t take in any more air, pause, hold for a moment, and then slowly exhale through the nostrils, letting the belly contract back toward the spine.

This is also called diaphragmatic breathing. Using the diaphragm, letting it expand during our inhales. When you are filling your belly, think of your diaphragm as pulling down, expanding space.

Try to make the exhale the same length as the inhale. Do this for about 5 minutes the first time and then as you do it more frequently, work your way up to 10 minutes.

This exercise can be done at your desk, standing upright, sitting comfortably in a chair, or you may even lie down. It is the breath that is at play here, sending a signal to our brain that we are safe and calm, engaging in rest. Afterward, come back to your tasks and notice the refreshed feeling, having more capacity to think.

Get Moving and Get Outside

Another way to move out of primal is to go outside and take a walk. Two things happen here.

First, when we engage in light cardio movement, like a walk, not a run or another intensive workout, we disengage the brain from the sympathetic nervous system.  The second thing that happens is that studies show being outside in nature reduces our cortisol levels, which reduced cortisol levels has been shown to engage the parasympathetic nervous system.

If we are working at home, getting outside for a break is easy! Maybe take the dog for a walk. She will appreciate the exercise and attention. It will also allow you to step outside and let nature and walking do their thing and help you relax.

At the office, it may not be as easy to get outside. But, we can get up from our desks, take a walk around the office area and maybe head to where there are windows of the outdoors. It doesn’t have to be a scenic view, just the blue sky can help.  Combining this with breathing deeply, we can surely start to signal the brain to relax and create capacity.

The next time you start to feel overwhelmed. When your pressures seem to be way more than the capacity you currently have and your stress levels are rising. Create more capacity. Send a signal to the brain to relax. To rest and digest. To engage the parasympathetic nervous system.

You will find more space just beyond.

The post Adding Capacity – Finding Calm appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Stress. We all experience it at one point in our lives. But let’s look at two different points of view.

The first, stress is harmful. That stress blocks our growth. It worsens our health and should be avoided at all costs due to its negative effects.

Now, the second point of view is that stress is helpful. Stress enhances our growth, improves our health, and can yield positive results, helping us become the person we want to be.

Which one do you agree with more? Which one rings true for you?

Before you decide, let’s look at stress as…

A Mathematical Equation.

Let’s say that Stress = Pressures – Capacity

A simple equation.  If we think of stress in this way, there are only two ways to successfully manage your stress, increase capacity or reduce the pressures.  This can make easing stress seem a bit more simple.

But let’s look at four different scenarios.

First, let’s say we have low pressures and high capacity. That would equal a low-stress level.  But we also find ourselves bored and unengaged. When we have no challenges, no pressure to complete a task or learn or develop, but we have the energy, the space, and the time to do it, we crave something more. So low pressure, high capacity is may not bring stress but it does bring apathy and indifference.

Now let’s look at low pressure and low capacity. Here we are on autopilot. We’re going through the motions. There’s no pressure but we don’t have the energy to do anything anyway. This is the hamster wheel of mediocrity.  We don’t feel stressed. We’re not necessarily bored, but we are uninspired. We lack passion. This type of situation can lead to depression.

So, what about high pressure and low capacity? Well, this leads to high pressure. To feelings of overwhelm. Too much of this can lead to chronic stress which is not beneficial.  You may be thinking the only way to reduce our overwhelm is to reduce our pressures. But as noted previously, we can also increase capacity.

If we increase capacity, that leads us to our fourth scenario, high pressure and high capacity, a state of engagement. A state of being “in the zone.” A state of working in flow. When we are so engaged in our work, time flies! We feel accomplished. In this scenario, we see stress as a learning experience, as a way to grow and develop. A way to solve a problem. This is stress being helpful.

Eustress

This type of stress was coined Eustress by a Hungarian endocrinologist, Hans Selye. It literally means “good stress.”

Society, since the mid-twentieth century, has blamed many health issues on too much stress. But stress, when managed appropriately, is ultimately how we grow. How we learn new skills. How we feel accomplished.

Eustress has emotional and health benefits. It differs from distress, the term coined for bad stress, in the following ways:

• Eustress is not chronic. It is short-lived
• Eustress energizes and motivates
• Eustress brings focus and improves performance

Increase Capacity

Thinking back to our simple math equation, Stress = Pressures – Capacity, we can see that whenever we begin to feel distress, the bad stress that brings overwhelm and negative feelings to our body, we have the power to move into Eustress by increasing our capacity.

But wait, what do we mean by “increase our capacity?”

It’s the same thing we mean when we say in yoga, create space.

The same meaning Dr. Dan Siegel, author of the book AWARE, gives to the purpose of meditation, to increase our container of consciousness.

We increase capacity by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. By relaxing.

There are only two states of being: powerful and primal. And these two states of being, correlate directly back to the two parts of our nervous system, the sympathetic and parasympathetic.

Our sympathetic nervous system, fight, flight, or freeze, is designed to keep us safe from mortal danger. It doesn’t create space or allow for more capacity. If anything, it shrinks capacity, reacting immediately when we are in danger such as getting out of the way quickly, without thinking when a car looks to be coming right at us. This is a good thing when we need it.

The parasympathetic, the rest and digest system, creates capacity. When we are calm we have more space to process, to look for the right solutions, to learn and grow.

To increase capacity, we find calmness. We find relaxation.

Relaxed Under Pressure

To move from distress to eustress, we have to be calm and relaxed.  You may be asking yourself, “but wait, how can I possibly be calm when I have a project due tomorrow morning. I don’t have time to be relaxed.”

I would argue, you don’t have time not to be.

In this case, do you need to fight? Who would you need to fight with? Yourself? Fighting with yourself or someone else is not going to get the project completed any quicker.

Do you need to flee? Is fleeing, leaving your work, walking away, going to accomplish anything?

Do you need to freeze? Stop working? Definitely not!

So, it seems pretty obvious that the sympathetic nervous system here, or a primal state, is not going to help us get the project done.

But, if we can calm ourselves, move into a powerful state, engage the parasympathetic nervous system, we create space to think openly. We can find new ideas. Search our brain, our goal-achieving machine for answers and ideas. This is the capacity we need to move us to eustress.

Now, if you are wondering how to increase your capacity? Well, one suggestion is to join me for our Winter Retreat on Saturday, Feb 19. And there is also a pop-up Full Moon Yoga Nidra, on Wednesday, Feb 16. Both will help prime your being to relax more.

But if you are looking for some “in the moment” resources, ideas to get you out of distress and into eustress at the moment you are experiencing it, to find calm when you feel like your in the middle of chaos? Check back next week! I’ll be sharing some useful tips anyone can use!

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