It’s like as soon as we learn something health-related about food, something new comes along to contradict the thing we just learned. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? What gives?

Like most things, there’s usually a grain of truth to something, but then it gets taken to extreme absurdity.

Let’s take butter, for example. Is butter bad for you? No. Would it be bad for you to eat only butter, and nothing else? Absolutely, but who’s doing that?

The truth hides in the middle.

A little butter isn’t going to hurt you. Eating it a stick at a time? Probably not the best idea.

Now it is true that in my personal health journey from 240 pounds down to 168 pounds, I made a lot of changes to my eating and exercise choices. But when I tell people that most of that difference resulted from cutting out processed foods, it starts to sound like a Conspiracy Theory.

Look, it’s not that “Big Food” is trying to kill us. There’s no evil plan where all of the food manufacturers got together and said, “Mwha-ha-ha-ha! If we add these specific ingredients to our products, it will make our customers sick and fat so our friends, Big Pharma, can profit from them! [Maniacal Laughter ensues]”

The reality is more like, “hmm, these less-expensive ingredients and fillers make the product cheaper while still tasting good so I can sell more product and make more money!” (If you don’t know what “fillers” are, check out grated cheese: https://www.golomblegal.com/blog/2016/march/what-is-the-real-problem-with-having-wood-pulp-i/ )

And the problem there is that those less-expensive ingredients and fillers also have less or zero nutritive value to them: they’re empty calories.

You see, those “artificial flavors and fragrances” are chemicals that mimic the chemicals naturally present in our foods that give that food its taste and smell. But that’s all it is: the chemical that causes the flavor or scent. The rest of the food that has the nutritive value isn’t there, only the flavor molecules.

That’s what we mean when we say, “empty calories.”

There’s nothing there your body can use for fuel. Your body runs on glucose, not chemical flavor molecules (or wood pulp for that matter).

What’s the problem with empty calories? You think you’re eating food, but you’re not. You’re eating a food-like substance, which fills your stomach and makes you feel “full.”

But when your body breaks down that substance into molecular form that it can use to repair your body and make new tissues, there’s nothing there for it to actually use. There’s no building material amid the filler. It’s just junk. So, your body removes the moisture content and passes the rest on to the colon for elimination.

Now your body is exhausted. It’s performed an entire digestive cycle, and it hasn’t gotten what it needs. Resources are becoming depleted. What does it do?

“Release the Ghrelin!” decrees the brain.

Ghrelin, of course, is the “hunger hormone.” Once released, you start to feel hungry again.

If you’re like I was, munching away on empty calories all day long because you’re hungry all day long, you might now be starting to understand why that is.

Yes, you are going to continue to feel hunger until your body is satisfied, nutritionally. You need to give your body what it wants. And it doesn’t want those empty calories.

What does your body want? I’ll be happy to tell you, but first I need to ask you a few questions. Click the link below to register for a free Comprehensive Eating Guide.

Answer a few questions on the form, and when you’re done, I’ll email you a personalized guide telling you how and what you want to eat to meet your specific health goals.

It’s free! Click now 😊 https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/myeatingguidequestionaire

Why would you want a personalized eating guide? It’s your roadmap to success! The guide takes all the guesswork out of eating. You will know that what you’re eating is what your body wants and needs, AND in the proper portion sizes for you!

Once you start giving your body what it’s looking for, wonderful things start to happen. You start to realize that those decades you’ve spent trying to get your health under control are over. You’ve done it!

Take control of your life, now.

Click to get your Free Comprehensive Eating Guide and start seeing that scale swing in your favor.

https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/myeatingguidequestionaire

The post What am I Supposed to Eat?! appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

I’ve found over the years that practicing gratitude isn’t just about listing things I’m thankful for. It’s about fully embodying a sense of appreciation that reaches into all aspects of life. In one of my past blog posts, Why I Spend 30 Days Focused on Gratitude, I shared my personal journey of committing to a month of gratitude each year. This practice transformed my perspective. Making me not only happier, but more resilient in the face of life’s ups and downs. I truly believe gratitude is key to a fulfilling life. Why not join me in experiencing its powerful effects.

The Science Behind Gratitude and Happiness

When we look at the research, the benefits of gratitude are undeniable. Gratitude has been studied extensively, and its benefits go far beyond that warm feeling we get when we think about what we’re thankful for. Research from Harvard Medical School reveals that gratitude actually rewires our brains to make us happier, healthier, and more resilient. According to the article Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier, those who actively practice gratitude experience more positive emotions. They feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness. They even have stronger immune systems. With this in mind, the science is clear: gratitude isn’t just an emotion; it’s a powerful tool for creating a happier, more fulfilling life.

8 Ways Gratitude Boosts Happiness

In a blog post by Grateful.org, gratitude is highlighted as a powerful way to boost happiness through eight specific pathways.

1. Improved Relationships: Gratitude strengthens our connections with others, making us feel more valued and appreciated.
2. Enhanced Self-Worth: By focusing on what we’re grateful for, we shift our attention away from self-criticism, building a more positive self-image.
3. Greater Resilience: Gratitude provides perspective during difficult times, helping us focus on what we have instead of what we lack.
4. Reduced Stress: A focus on gratitude allows our minds to escape the stress cycle by emphasizing what’s going well.
5. Better Sleep: Practicing gratitude before bed can help calm the mind, setting us up for a restful night.
6. Boosted Physical Health: Studies have shown that grateful people tend to take better care of their health, engaging in behaviors like exercise, better nutrition, and regular check-ups.
7. Increased Empathy and Kindness: Gratitude enhances our ability to see the good in others, making us more understanding and compassionate.
8. Sustained Positive Emotions: Over time, gratitude promotes a more lasting sense of joy by helping us savor the small moments in life.

When we practice gratitude, we train our minds to notice the beauty and kindness around us. And over time, that shift in perspective builds a happier, more fulfilling life.

Gratitude and the 24 Character Strengths

In positive psychology, gratitude is recognized as one of the 24 Character Strengths. According to the VIA Character Institute, these strengths are like a toolkit for a fulfilling life. And gratitude is a powerful piece of that toolkit. Gratitude is a strength that can be developed, practiced, and embodied. It has the power to influence our outlook and enrich our lives.

If you haven’t taken the VIA Character Strengths assessment, I encourage you to do so. It’s a free tool that helps you understand your unique strengths, showing how gratitude fits into the larger picture of who you are. When we recognize gratitude as a core strength, we give ourselves permission to lean into it, using it as a foundation for growth, connection, and resilience.

Gratitude Through Life’s Challenges: An Exercise in Resilience

One of the most beautiful aspects of gratitude is its ability to ground us even in challenging times. Life is filled with moments of both joy and struggle. Although it’s easy to feel grateful when things are going well, real growth happens when we find ways to appreciate life’s difficulties too.

Try this exercise: Think of someone or something you’re deeply grateful for. Let yourself feel the warmth and fullness of that gratitude. Now, imagine going back in time to see all the steps that led to that moment. Perhaps there were difficult situations, unexpected turns, or even losses along the way. We may not have felt grateful in those moments, but looking back, we can see how each one was a stepping stone that led us here. Recognizing this can be incredibly empowering—it reminds us that even our struggles can bear gifts.

This perspective is echoed in the inspiring story of a young man who lost his leg at age 10, yet through it, found a deep sense of resilience. In a powerful video, he shares how embracing gratitude gave him the strength to rebuild his life, focusing not on what was lost but on what could be gained. His story is a reminder that even in the darkest of times, gratitude offers us a way forward, helping us find light amid shadows.

Daily Gratitude: Building a Happier, More Resilient Life

Research shows that gratitude becomes even more powerful when we make it part of our daily routine. When we approach each day with an open heart, looking for moments of beauty and kindness, we start to notice more good things. Our lives begin to feel more peaceful and joyful because we’re actively tuning into the gifts around us. Small, consistent acts of gratitude—like keeping a gratitude journal, expressing appreciation to loved ones, or simply taking a moment to savor something beautiful—can create lasting happiness.

But practicing gratitude every day isn’t about glossing over the hard stuff or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about choosing to see the good that exists alongside the challenges. Harvard’s research shows that when we regularly practice gratitude, we not only feel happier in the moment, but we also cultivate a lasting sense of contentment. We begin to find joy in the present instead of waiting for things to get “better.” This shift in perspective brings us a deep sense of peace.

Imagine, for a moment, starting each day with a sense of openness, asking yourself, “What am I grateful for today?” Over time, this simple habit becomes transformative. You’ll begin to notice beauty in places you might not have noticed before. As well as experience a deeper connection with yourself and those around you.

When we practice embracing gratitude for a happier, resilient life, we’re choosing to build a reserve of positivity that supports us through life’s inevitable challenges. The beauty of gratitude is that it’s available to us at any moment. Whether we’re celebrating a joyful occasion or navigating a difficult one, it’s a tool for seeing the bigger picture. As well as for recognizing that even in the most challenging circumstances, there is something to be grateful for.

Join Our 10-Day Gratitude Challenge

You now see how transfmormative gratitude is. How it’s something that can be cultivated with intention. If you’re ready to start embracing gratitude for a happier, resilient life, I invite you to join me in our 10-day Gratitude Challenge,  which starts on November 19 and culminates on Thanksgiving Day. Over these ten days, we’ll explore different ways to bring gratitude into our lives. From reflecting on past blessings, to appreciating the present moment. Each day, we’ll take a step closer to cultivating a practice that not only brings happiness but also strengthens our ability to face life’s ups and downs with grace.

This journey is a chance to dive deeper, to discover the power of gratitude, and to make it a part of who we are. When we look through the lens of gratitude, we see that even the hardest moments carry the seeds of beauty, strength, and transformation and we begin to make it a practice that stays with us long after November ends.

Here’s to a season of gratitude—and to a happier, more resilient life.

The post Embracing Gratitude for a Happier Resilient Life appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

For me, this shift has been personal lately. Just five days ago, Mark had surgery on his foot after stepping on a nail. Suddenly our routine changed. He’s depending on me more than usual, and as much as I love caring for him, it’s a reminder of how easily life can become overwhelming when we forget to care for ourselves too.

These past few days have taught me the importance of self-love and compassion—not just for him, but for me too. And maybe this is the perfect message for today, as autumn begins to invite us to turn inward and nurture ourselves.

The beauty of fall is that it naturally slows us down and gives us time to embrace autumnal renewal. While spring and summer are filled with outward movement, activity, and connection, autumn offers us a much-needed pause. It’s a time to reconnect with our own inner world, to rediscover what ignites our passion, and to tend to our own needs. Whether that’s emotional, physical, or spiritual. Time to Embrace Autumnal Renewal.

Your Self

As we transition into fall (even if the weather isn’t quite there yet), it’s the perfect opportunity to pause and reflect on how we’ve been caring for our Self. For me, the last five days of being in caregiver mode reminded me that if I don’t also tend to my own needs, burnout is inevitable. This is why I always advocate for me time—something I’ve been trying to carve out, even if it’s just for a moment here or there.

What does this look like for you? Perhaps it’s taking a walk outside. Enjoying the changing leaves (or the lingering warmth!). Or maybe it’s restarting a yoga or meditation practice that got lost in the busy days of summer. Autumn is your invitation to slow down and find balance.

The earlier sunsets and longer nights also offer a natural rhythm for rest. This is the perfect time to sleep in, go to bed early, or simply enjoy the quiet moments that come with the change of seasons. And if you’ve been putting off those health check-ups or self-care routines, use this shift as a reminder to prioritize yourself.

When we care for our Self, we’re not just filling our own cup—we’re actually making space to care for those we love, without feeling depleted. Trust me, both Mark and I could use a little extra self-love and compassion right now!

Your Soul

While caring for your Self is essential, your Soul also needs attention. Your Soul is your deeper purpose, your reason for being. For me, these past few days of caregiving have been a reminder of the importance of finding meaning in both the big and small moments.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the day-to-day that we forget to connect with what lights us up inside. What’s your “why”? Why are you here, and what meaningful contribution do you want to make in the world?

Autumn offers a beautiful time to reflect on your purpose. If you’ve written a mission statement or have a guiding vision, this is the perfect moment to revisit it, reflect on how it aligns with your current life, and make adjustments if needed. If you don’t have one yet, consider using this season to explore what makes your Soul feel alive.

Your Dreams

Unlike the fast pace of summer, filled with activities and fleeting whims, autumn creates a natural pause. A chance to reflect on what it is we really desire—not the fleeting, impulsive dreams, but those rooted in our hearts. These are the dreams that bring lasting fulfillment because they come from our core.

This slowing down is a gift. It gives us the time to sift through our desires, releasing the ones that no longer serve us and holding onto those that ignite a fire within. Take a moment to ask yourself:

• What has been calling to me lately, something I may have pushed aside in the rush of daily life?
• What do I long to create or experience that feels aligned with my soul’s purpose?
• How can I use this time of seasonal transition to clarify my vision for the future?

Dreams rooted in passion are like seeds—fall offers the perfect time to plant those seeds in the rich soil of our intentions, knowing that they will grow, slowly but surely. This isn’t about hurried action or quick results. It’s about honoring your process and allowing space for your dreams to unfold naturally, just as the trees release their leaves to make way for new growth.

It’s also a time to trust that the dreams born in this reflective space are not just whims—they are your inner guidance calling you toward your highest potential. As the leaves fall and nature turns inward, use this season to give your dreams the space they need to evolve.

Time to Embrace Autumnal Renewal

In this season of renewal and reflection, I encourage you to reconnect with these three essential parts of yourself: Your Self, Your Soul, and Your Dreams. If the unpredictable weather and the demands of life are pulling you in different directions, remember that autumn gives you permission to slow down, to reflect, and to prioritize what truly matters.

As for me, between the warmth of the sun today and the cool nights ahead, I’m taking this time to care for myself too. If these last few days have taught me anything, it’s that self-compassion is just as important as the care we give to others.

Looking for ideas to get you started?

Here are some activities to help you embrace autumnal renewal and realign with your Self, your Soul, and your Dreams during this transformative season:

1. Forest Bathing or Mindful Nature Walks

Take advantage of the cooler temperatures and the stunning fall colors. Find a quiet trail or forest path and allow yourself to walk slowly, using all your senses to connect with the environment. Notice the changing leaves. The crispness in the air. The sounds of rustling branches. Use this time to reflect on your current state of being and where you want to focus your energy moving forward. Maybe come to Eclectic Sanctuary and lets Forest Bathe together. https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/ForestBathing2022

2. Journaling by Candlelight

As the days get shorter and darkness arrives earlier, carve out time in the evenings for journaling by the soft glow of a candle. Write about your desires, your passions, and what dreams are surfacing for you. What have you always wanted to do but never made time for? How can you align your actions with those deeper desires this season?

3. Create a Vision Board for Autumn

While vision boards are often seen as a New Year’s activity, fall is a great time to revisit or create a vision board. This time, focus not just on goals, but on how you want to feel as you move through this season. What emotional states are you striving for? What qualities do you want to embody as you work toward your dreams?

4. Evening Fireside Reflection

If you have access to an outdoor space, light a small bonfire or gather around a fire pit. Use this time to meditate or simply reflect on what you need to release to make space for your dreams. Just as we let go of limiting beliefs at our fall retreats, you can write down anything holding you back and toss it into the fire, watching it dissolve and create space for something new.

5. Autumn Recipe Creation with Fresh Herbs

Engage in the grounding practice of cooking with seasonal ingredients and fresh herbs. As you prepare meals, reflect on the ways nourishment fuels both your body and your dreams. Consider how slowing down to enjoy the simple pleasures of food can also mirror slowing down to savor the journey toward your goals.

6. Yoga Nidra for Dream Clarity

Yoga Nidra is a guided meditation practice that helps access the subconscious mind. Try incorporating a Yoga Nidra session into your evening routine this fall to explore the dreams that are buried beneath the surface. This deeply relaxing practice can bring you clarity on your soul’s purpose and the next steps toward manifesting your dreams. You can schedule your own Yoga Nidra session with me simply by requesting a date and time. https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/YogaNidraScheduler

7. Daily Gratitude Practice

Fall is a season of gratitude. Why not use this time to reflect daily on the blessings in your life? By practicing gratitude, you bring your focus to abundance rather than lack. This creates a fertile environment for your dreams to grow. Write down three things you’re grateful for every morning or evening, and watch how it shifts your mindset. And why not sign up for our annual Gratitude Challenge in November. This year we’ve culled it down to 10 days, but 10 days of deliberate action designed to embrace and embody living in gratitude.  https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/GratitudeChallenge

8. Connecting with a Soul Community

Sometimes, the best way to nurture your dreams is to share them with others. Attend a fall retreat, join a mindful hike, or participate in a group meditation session. Being in a community of like-minded individuals can inspire new ideas and provide the support you need to stay connected to your passions.

Mind & Meditation: A Journey Within

As we embrace the slower rhythm of fall and the opportunity to align with our deepest desires, I invite you to take this journey further with our Mind & Meditation series this November. Over the course of four weeks, we will explore mindfulness and meditation. As well as, discover practices that help quiet the noise of the outside world. And reconnect you with your inner Self and your soul’s purpose.

Whether you are seeking clarity on your dreams, struggling with life’s transitions, or simply needing space to breathe, this series will offer you the tools to create inner peace, align with your passions, and manifest a life filled with joy.

To join me in person at Lake Michigan College, register through Eventbrite, https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-mind-meditation-a-4-week-series-connecting-mindset-mindfulness-and-tickets-1004534017287

Or sign for our digital series and learn at your own pace at https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/MindTraining2023

This fall, I encourage you to go inward. A time to Embrace Autumnal Renewal. Taking time to honor the aspects of your being that need attention—your Self, your Soul, and your Dreams. What will your autumn renewal look like?

The post Manifest Monday: Time to Embrace Autumnal Renewal appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. When we choose to love someone unconditionally, we unlock the full potential of this universal energy. Yes, it’s a decision—a conscious choice to love without strings attached. And when we make that choice, we open our hearts, allowing them to expand, imagine, and create. An open heart is a fertile ground for dreams, creativity, and manifesting the life we truly desire.

Unconditional love is about embracing a deep, freeing kind of love that requires no reciprocation, no approval, and no conditions. When we fill our lives with love, we harness a universal energy that allows us to live more fully, more freely, and with more joy.

But this love starts with one person—you.

Before we can love others unconditionally, we must first love ourselves unconditionally. Self-love isn’t always easy. It’s not about blind acceptance of all our traits, but about recognizing and embracing who we are right now, flaws and all. Unconditional self-love acknowledges that while we are enough as we are, we can still strive to grow, improve, and evolve.

Think of self-love as a lifelong journey, one that each day starts anew. Each day involves accepting our mistakes, celebrating our victories, and constantly working toward becoming the best version of ourselves. This kind of love isn’t complacent; it is active. It pushes us to live in alignment with our values. To be the person we are meant to be.

When we love ourselves unconditionally, we allow space for self-compassion and personal growth. We realize that loving ourselves doesn’t mean we ignore areas in need of change—it means we accept where we are while being committed to continuous self-improvement. We don’t beat ourselves up, or allow negative self-talk to take over. Instead, we focus on who we want to be and what we can do today to become more of that person. And when we love ourselves in this way, we are better able to extend that love to others.

Loving Others Unconditionally Without Losing Yourself

When it comes to loving others—our children, partners, family, and friends—unconditional love requires acceptance of who they are, right where they are. Just like we accept ourselves, flaws and all. It means offering love freely, without expecting anything in return. However, loving someone unconditionally doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye to harmful behavior or tolerate actions that conflict with our values. It’s about holding space for them, supporting their growth, and encouraging positive change when necessary.

Take parenting as an example. We love our children unconditionally, but that doesn’t mean we don’t correct them when they do something wrong. We guide them, teach them, and sometimes enforce consequences to help them learn and grow into the best versions of themselves. The same goes for our relationships with family and friends. We don’t have to agree with their actions, and we certainly don’t have to accept hurtful behavior. But we can still love them for who they are, even with all their imperfections, while encouraging change when it’s needed.

Unconditional love doesn’t mean we become doormats. It’s not about losing ourselves or tolerating toxic behavior. It’s about setting boundaries while continuing to love and support the person as they grow and evolve. When we balance love with boundaries, we create healthier, stronger relationships rooted in mutual respect and compassion.

When Unconditional Love Requires Distance

But what happens when someone we love unconditionally repeatedly hurts us? Can we still claim to love them unconditionally if we distance ourselves or end the relationship? The answer is yes—unconditional love doesn’t require one to accept unconditionally. Unconditional love doesn’t require us to stand by and allow someone to hurt us. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for both ourselves and the other person is to love them from afar.

When our well-being is at risk, we must prioritize our own health and happiness. If someone’s actions are harmful to us or conflict with our core values, it’s okay to step away. But stepping away doesn’t mean we stop loving them. We can still hold love in our hearts while creating boundaries that protect our peace.

Letting go with love is a powerful practice. It involves setting clear boundaries. That we love them as a person, but we do not love their actions. Explaining that their actions are in conflict with our values, and that we choose to create space in the relationship. This space allows us to heal and protects us from further harm, but it doesn’t mean we stop caring. We can continue to love them, be there for them when they truly need us, and support them from a distance. The love remains, but we love in a way that prioritizes our well-being.

Shifting Your Mindset to Manifest a Life You Love

Loving unconditionally—whether it’s yourself or others—requires a mindset shift. It means moving beyond conditions, expectations, and attachment to specific outcomes. It means loving in a way that frees both you and the other person to grow, evolve, and manifest your deepest desires.

But this isn’t always easy. In one of my past blogs, Mindset – It’s Not All Love & Light, I talk about how mindset is not simply thinking positively. And unconditional love is not always positive. It can take time, patience, and practice to shift into a mindset of unconditional love, especially when faced with disappointment or conflict. This is where mindfulness and self-awareness come in. By training your mind to let go of expectations and embrace love without conditions, you open yourself up to manifesting a life filled with joy, peace, and fulfillment.

If you’re ready to shift your mindset and live from a place of unconditional love, you might want to start with the 7-Day MindShift program. This free, guided experience is designed to help you realign your thinking and break free from limiting beliefs, allowing you to cultivate more love, joy, and abundance in your life. Each day offers short, powerful exercises to train your mind, awaken your heart, and manifest the life you truly desire.

Join the 7-Day MindShift and begin the journey to loving yourself and others unconditionally, while manifesting the life you’ve always dreamed of. You can learn more and sign up for free here.

Love as the Pathway to Manifestation

Unconditional love isn’t just a feeling—it’s a decision. It’s a way of living that opens our hearts and minds, allowing us to dream, create, and manifest our desires. When we choose to love without conditions, we align ourselves with the energy of the universe, and from that space, we can manifest the life we truly want.

Remember, love starts within. When you love yourself unconditionally, you create a solid foundation for loving others and for manifesting a life that is authentic and fulfilling. And when you encounter challenges in your relationships, don’t be afraid to set boundaries or step away if necessary. Loving from afar is still loving. It’s about maintaining your own well-being while continuing to offer love and support.

Take the first step toward this mindshift today. Open your heart, embrace unconditional love, and watch how it transforms not only your relationships but your entire life.

The post Manifesting With Unconditional Love appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

For some of us, the Halloween season might as well be called Candy Season. At least, that’s how I used to look at it. Candy Season led up to Gluttony Season, otherwise known as Thanksgiving. Which then, of course, leads right to Charitable Season, or maybe, “Tons of Homemade Pies, Breads, & Cookies Season.” Our family called that Christmas Time, but families of all different traditions tend to be doing the same types of things right around the Winter Solstice.

Now I know, for me, candy snacking started before Halloween actually arrived. At first it was days before. Then half a month. Then it crept up to the point that October was official Candy Month, with a steady crescendo of candy consumption climaxing on Consume Mass Candy Day.

After Halloween there seem to be more and more backed goods showing up as we approach Thanksgiving. It’s almost like we just need pie in November. And then on the Big Day, OMG there’s SO MUCH FOOD! If you’re leaving Thanksgiving Dinner and you haven’t had to loosen your pants, you did it wrong.

I don’t know about your family, but it seems like in mine, once we got used to eating sugar, more sugar-containing foods started to hang around. Like between Halloween and Thanksgiving, if we weren’t baking pies or cookies, we were buying Oreos and Chips Ahoy.

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we went through a lot of ice cream, pies, cakes, Entenmann’s-style coffee cakes and such.

And puddings! I can’t believe I almost forgot about pudding. My favorite was the stove-top kind where you had to cook it in a pot, then pour it into the “pudding glasses” then pop those into the fridge without spilling them.

I loved the chocolate flavor and that skin that would develop on top. 🤤Mmm… I might have to make some pudding now… Do you have pudding glasses? I honestly don’t know what the proper use for those glasses was. They were just perfect little single-serving size glasses that Mom always got out for pudding. 🤔Do I have pudding glasses?

After Christmas the sugar fest tended to continue through February, with Lesser Candy Day in the middle. Somehow the sugar train slowed itself down. By March, St Patrick’s Day was more about corned beef and cabbage and less about the sweets. From there sugary snacks started to wane.

But during that brief period of darkness, I would put on 10 to 15 pounds. And I know I’m not alone. That cycle, from late October through mid-March is when most of us tend to put on weight. It’s also, quite literally, the darkest part of the year.

It’s also the part of the year where nothing grows. We are biologically wired to want to put on some extra fat to get us through the darkness, so we’ll survive to see the next spring. The only problem with that is, we no longer live in a world that is season dependent.

Refrigeration is pretty new!

We can go to the supermarket and get fruit year-round. That’s a relatively new thing. Frigidaire released the first residential refrigerator in 1923! Before that, if you wanted to keep something cool, you needed ice.

Why do we have so many different traditions that all involve making fruit pies? Because our ancestors needed to do something with the harvest. Without refrigeration, fruits and vegetables don’t last very long. So, they canned what they could and cooked off the rest.

Perhaps uncoincidentally, we are also hard-wired to crave sugar. This is because in nature, sugary fruits tend to ripen in Fall, conveniently right before winter sets in. We crave the sugar because it’s a fleeting resource. We need to eat it to fatten ourselves up to prepare for the lean winter to come.

But again, we don’t live in a world where that cycle really matters any more. We have just as much access to food in winter as we do any other time of the year. Why then, do we continue to live as if we do?

More importantly, what can we do about it?

Are we destined to pack on 10-15 pounds each year just because we’re predisposed to it? No, of course not. Must we succumb to sugar’s siren call and eat it from Halloween through Valentines? No, but we absolutely will if we allow it.

Sugar is absolutely the hardest addiction to break. One reason being, it’s in everything.

Manufacturers can be sneaky!

Product makers know that people want to avoid sugar, so they often list it as other things. If you see dextrose, fructose, glucose, lactose, maltose, sucrose, or galactose, in the ingredients list, those are all different types of sugar.

Sometimes they try to give it the Health Halo of friendly-sounding names like: beet sugar, brown sugar, cane sugar, cane juice, (I love this next one) cane juice crystals (sugar!), coconut sugar, confectioner’s or powdered sugar, castor sugar, date sugar, grape sugar, golden sugar, demerara sugar, muscovado sugar, panela sugar, raw sugar, turbinado sugar, or yellow sugar. They might sound healthier, but they’re still sugar.

They might try to confuse you with names like: corn syrup solids, crystalline fructose, dextrin, ethyl maltol, diastatic malt, glucose syrup solids, icing sugar, Florida crystals, maltodextrin, or sucanat.

Or they might be using liquid sugars with names like: agave nectar or syrup, barley malt, blackstrap molasses, brown rice syrup, buttered sugar or buttercream, caramel, carob syrup, corn syrup, evaporated cane juice, fruit juice concentrate, golden syrup, high-fructose corn syrup or HFCS, invert sugar, malt syrup, maple syrup, molasses, rice syrup, refiner’s syrup, sorghum syrup, or treacle.

To your brain, all 54 of the things I just listed count as sugar and will make your brain prefer that product, because remember, we are hard-wired to seek sugar. As much as possible, avoid products with added sugar.

So how do you cut out sugar completely? You don’t. But, you do limit your intake of it.

For example, I love chocolate, but if I eat candy bars like I used to, I know what the result will be. I’ve seen that. I have evidence to support that. Instead then, I buy bags of little individually-wrapped dark chocolate pieces. Or, I buy a big dark chocolate bar. Not a candy bar, like a Mounds or Almond Joy Dark. I mean a solid bar of 60 – 92% cocoa. Dark and a bit bitter.

Dark chocolate is the way to go for two reasons. One, it’s actually a beneficial saturated fat is small quantities. And two, since it is a bit on the bitter side, we’re much less likely to mindlessly much away on it.

My other really big one was ice cream. I used to eat a huge bowl with at least four scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough or chocolate chip mint (sometimes two scoops of each), chocolate syrup, AND butterscotch syrup, topped with cool whip or Redi-whip spray.

Again, I know from experience what happens when I allow myself to do that regularly. I still have size 40 fat pants that I now use for yardwork with a belt cinched up so much it looks absurd. I keep them to remind me that at one point these were tight on me and I was contemplating moving up to 42’s.

So now my ice cream consumption is still daily. But I eat one or two little mini ice cream cones. Just enough to satisfy my sweet tooth. I do that so that on the rare occasion that we’re hanging out on the Bluff, I can have that Sundae at the Chocolate Café without worrying about it.

What about Thanksgiving, I know you’re wondering?

We did a whole Thanksgiving-themed blog post here: https://eclecticwell-being.com/tips-and-tricks-for-a-deliciously-healthy-thanksgiving/

The short story with Turkey Day is go ahead and indulge; but maybe don’t take a weeks’ worth of leftovers home (or give yours away if you host!) I’m still going to bake my cheese bread this year. And I’m going to really enjoy eating it. Once it’s gone though, I’m not baking anything else until Christmas rolls around.

For Christmas, we’ll probably bake some chocolate chip cookies and some kifli. Or kolaczki for the Polish side of the family. Whatever you call it, they’re those little powdered sugar covered white cookies and are typically filled with fruit preserves or nut butter. They’re good, but not something I could eat year-round.

Which works out well for our plan of only indulging a little bit around the holidays. Yes, I have been known to eat one slice of all four pies in one sitting before and I’ll happily do it again. (My stomach might not be so happy with me afterwards, and that is something else you’ll want to learn to listen to, but not in this article today.)

And that’s the key, right there.

We need to understand that as humans, we are wired to seek sugar and consume it, but we can control how much we ingest. We must be aware that we’re prone to packing on the pounds in winter and take active steps to avoid it.

One of those active steps should be getting in some exercise. We’re much more active in the bright, warmer months than we are in the cold, dark months. There’s simply more to do outside in the nice weather. Once things cool off, we don’t want to take our activity level down to: couch potato.

So there’s something you can do: Join a local gym. Go there and do something. Literally anything is better than laying on the couch in front of the tv. If you don’t know what to do, find a gym that offers instructor-led classes.

Getting healthy starts in your mind. You need to make a decision that this is something you want to do, and then start taking action on that decision. Life will never change otherwise.

Are you ready?

The post Transitioning Smoothly into Autumn appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

I’ve been thinking about programming lately and realized that computer programming is a lot like baking. With regular cooking, there’s a pretty wide margin of error. There are a lot of mistakes you can make and still have your meal come out fairly decently. With baking, not so much.

Baking is more of applied chemistry. There are reactions that need to happen. For those reactions to happen in the way you want, you have to be very specific with your measurements. In order for your baked goods to come out consistently the same, you need to follow a recipe.

We could call that recipe an algorithm; a logical series of steps that must be performed exactly as laid out to get reproducible results every time. Well that sure sounds a lot like a computer program.

You could even compare a computer programmer to the chef who develops the recipe for others to follow. In both cases, a recipe or algorithm is being created that future people will use to replicate the results of the original. Pretty cool!

Ok, so how does that relate to health?

We’re almost there, I need to give you some more background information.

When developing a program, the first thing you encounter before you can run it is the debugging process. There are two kinds of errors you might find: syntax, and logical.

A syntax error means the computer can’t understand what you want it to do. These are usually spelling errors. Looking at it from a baking perspective, let’s say you’ve misread 4 Tbs for 4 C of water. You might immediately notice that your batter is entirely too loose.

Just like a computer syntax error, you will need to fix your batter before you can attempt to bake it. Of course with baking, that might mean you need to start over, whereas with a computer program, it means looking for the misspelling and correcting it.

A logic error might be harder to find. Logic errors mean that all of your code was spelled correctly, but what you told the computer to do was not actually what you wanted it to do. The way you know you have a logic error is to look at the output and realize it’s wrong.

With baking, maybe you used 2/3 cup of salt instead of sugar. Your muffins might come out looking ok, but they’ll probably be too salty to eat. Or, maybe you forgot to add the butter and now they’re super dry. We know we made a mistake, but we won’t know what mistake until we’ve tried the muffins.

Have we made the crossover to health yet?

That’s where we’re going now. The thing is, every single day, we’re programming our bodies, whether we realize it or not. We give ourselves input, in the form of food and drink, and we get the energy to power ourselves through the day as output, with a couple of waste products that we’re not going to discuss in this article.

With programming our bodies, the syntax errors are pretty obvious. If you’ve ever tried to siphon gasoline from one container to another with a hose that you primed with your mouth, you know that spitting out the gasoline is pretty intuitive.

As soon as you taste it, your body screams at you not to swallow it. Likewise, if you put hard objects like rocks in your mouth and try to chew them, you’ll experience quite a bit of pain from your teeth. These are analogous to syntax errors. You’re trying to get your body to do something and it’s rejecting your efforts.

Logic errors, though, are much more difficult to find. Most people deal with logic errors for decades before realizing that they are the cause of their own issues.

Your body is giving you feedback all the time.

The problem is, we ignore that feedback, or start taking a pill to make it go away. Case in point, my Uncle Bill. Here we have a man who suffered from chronic heart burn for years. The solution? Over-the-counter heartburn relief drugs. The result? He died of esophageal cancer.

That heartburn was feedback! But rather than listen to his body, he took a drug to numb the pain. That’s the thing with logic errors in health programming: they’re subtle. An odd pain here, stiff back there, trouble taking a full and deep breath, these are all little things that your body is telling you, something’s wrong.

But what would happen if we took a different approach? Instead of providing random input and stimulus, what if we got specific? What if we followed a recipe? What if someone else created an algorithm for us that we could follow to reproduce desired results?

Do you think getting healthy could be as easy as baking a cake?

Well you’re in luck because that’s just what we’ve combined with Cultivus Fitness to bring to you. Eight weeks of programming, in fact, including the nine core competencies that everyone must master to achieve great health, along with personal-trainer led classes that show you how to move in your workouts to get fit without injury. All without breaking the bank.

Is this the right program for you? Absolutely! Click here for more info: https://www.cultivusfitness.com/

The post Can we Program our Health? appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

We probably think in terms like this because it’s been drilled into our heads that having an overabundance of body fat is a bad thing. They even gave us a handy little metric we can use to gauge how dangerous our body fat levels have become: The BMI scale.

BMI stands for Body Mass Index, and is the ratio of your weight in kilograms divided by your height in meters squared, giving you a number like 26.3. You then take that number and compare it to the provided scale, where:

     Underweight = <18.5
     “Normal” weight = 18.5 – 24.9
     Overweight = 25-29.9 and
     Obesity = 30+

And now you will see that at 183 and 5’10 with a BMI score of 26.3, I am overweight for my height, even though I’m sitting around 15% body fat, which is extremely healthy for a 52-year-old man. What gives?

That’s the problem with the BMI table. It only works for average people. For example, in High School I was the same height at 135 pounds. Most people would have called me “scrawny” (and they did back then), yet BMI-wise, that’s considered “normal weight.” BMI typically goes out the window for anyone with an athletic build.

So why do we even care about weight in the first place?

Who really cares if I weigh 135, 240, 168, or 183? Well, I should. The heavier I am, the more strain there is on my heart, and the more stress there is on my joints.

But, it works the other way, too. When we have too little body fat, we can’t properly regulate our hormone levels. It’s more challenging to maintain body temperature. Vitamins and minerals don’t absorb properly. When we’re under-fat, we might have lower energy levels and lower resistance to disease.

A healthy body fat range for men is between 10-22%, and for women 20-32%. That percentage can come at any body weight and height, though, so BMI isn’t really our best indicator of health.

Do you know what your body fat percentage is currently? Probably not. Most of us have bathroom scales to tell us what we weigh, but nothing to tell us what our body composition is.

Body composition, you’ve probably surmised, is how much of what tissues make up our overall total body mass. For example: total weight, body fat, muscle mass, bone mass, visceral fat, and water percentage. (Ok, water isn’t a tissue type, but it does account for a good chunk of overall weight.)

How do we get this information? There are a few different methods.

The absolute most accurate measure of body composition is an autopsy. This is also an incredibly invasive procedure as it requires that the patient already be post-mortem.

As for things we can use while we’re still alive, calipers can be used to pinch the skin to determine how much fat is present. You take samples from several different specific locations on the body, then run a little math equation to get your average.

Caliper testing is pretty accurate, but it can be challenging to pinch yourself in the right spots to get accurate readings. It helps to have a friend or coach do it for you.

Along the same lines as caliper pinch testing is circumference measurements, where you use a flexible tape measure to take readings from specific areas of the body. This tends to be less accurate as people with larger muscles also will have larger measurements.

There are more “automated” methods as well.

Hydrostatic weighing is also fairly accurate. Basically you fill a bathtub with water all the way to the rim, then get in and measure how much water your body displaced. (In other words, how much water dumped over the edge once you submerged yourself completely.)

There’s something called Bodpod which is essentially the same as hydrostatic weighing, except you’re doing it in a sealed air chamber. The technical name for this is “air displacement plethysmography,” and it’s also pretty accurate.

Systems also exist that will take a 3D scan of your body with dual energy x-ray absorptiometry. Here, low-level x-rays at different frequencies are passed through your body. The rays slow differently in response to the different tissues through which they pass, giving you a clear look at your body composition. The machine must be expertly calibrated for the best results.

My favorite method, and the one that I use, is bioelectric impedance. There are different types and some are more expensive than others. The highest degree of accuracy comes from segmental scales. These pass a low DC electrical signal through your feet and your hands at the same time. Like the x-rays, different tissues slow the electrical signal at different rates, giving you an overall picture of your personal composition.

I personally use the Tanita Ironman RD-901 InnerScan Pro for this. [Not a paid advertisement.] It’s a non-segmental version of the scale, so it’s not quite as accurate. But it’s half the cost, making it the winner in my book.

Body composition isn’t everything though.

At Eclectic Well-being, we like to look at what we call, “deep health.” We want our clients to thrive in all aspects of the human condition. We focus on the whole person and their whole life.

That means we’re looking at multiple aspects of their health. We focus on physical health, how our bodies feel, function, and perform. But we don’t stop there.

We also look at mental and cognitive health. How well we can think, learn, and remember. What is our client’s outlook and perspective on life and the world? How much capacity do we have for insight and conscious awareness? How creative and flexible are we in terms of problem solving?

There’s emotional health, comprising our general mood and our ability to feel and express our emotions. Are we experiencing more positive emotions than negative ones? Do we respond to emotional challenges in a productive, resilient way?

We focus on existential or “purposeful” health. What’s your “why?” Do we have a strong sense of intrinsic self-worth? Do we feel like we’re a part of a larger picture? What is our purpose in life?

Social health also comes to bear. How well do we connect and interact with others? Are we maintaining fulfilling, authentic relationships? Do we feel like we “belong” to something?

And finally we look at environmental health, or the feeling of being safe and secure, feeling supported, and having access to the resources we need to survive and thrive.

That is what “being healthy” means to us.

A deeply healthy person is a person who is leading a well-rounded life. Because once you have that under control, the body fat percentage takes care of itself.

Seriously. Being overweight is a symptom of another area of your life being out-of-whack. Once we get that addressed, everything else falls into place.

So, do you want to keep addressing the wrong problem and try yet another diet? Or do you want to finally get this figured out?

Here’s some great news! Right now, you can get started with the Reboot program we’re partnering with Cultivus Fitness to deliver. It starts on 9/30, so you’ve got time to prepare.

For more information, check out: https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=821172910195587&set=a.491199929859555

The post What Does “Getting Healthy” Even Mean? appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

I love to travel! Who doesn’t? Challenging myself to do new things. Discovering beautiful places to renew my spirit. Savoring new flavors on my palette. Engaging with people different than me and understanding other cultures.

Travel improves our well-being in many ways.

Studies show that travel help reduces the risks of heart disease. Travel can increase your levels of dopamine, which helps to feel deeper levels of satisfaction and pleasure. We boost our creativity when traveling in a foreign country, not only finding ways to communicate when we don’t speak the language but also there are many ways to do activities we do every day and take for granted.

Traveling, whether abroad or to nearby destinations, is something many of us do, but without intention and without embracing all these well-being benefits.  We go on a trip. Explore the sites, usually with our phone in hand, taking picture after picture, posting selfies on social media, and missing half of what is in our site.

We dine at delicious restaurants. Perhaps even order a tasty dish that we’ve never tried before and may never eat again because we have no idea what is in it or how it was prepared.

But have you been on a retreat? Maybe it was a yoga retreat to deepen your practice or focus on a particular flavor of yoga. Or perhaps it was a spiritual retreat, filled with silence and prayer. Or maybe a day retreat, time spent away from the day-to-day to fill your cup!

Retreats are travel with a purpose. Intentionally embracing the well-being benefits we are blessed with when we explore new destinations, and cultures and partake in novel activities.

The World Is Your Backyard

How many plant species are in your yard? A hundred? Two hundred? Even if it’s 500, that’s less than 1% of all plant species in the world!

When we travel, we can explore nature. Allow our senses to notice the different sites, sounds, and smells of the landscape.

My favorite area of the worldwide backyard is beneath the ocean. No matter how hard you want to see coral, you can only see it in its living form underwater.  The beauty of the ocean and the life living there is remarkable. Filled with color. Vibrancy. And without much sound, it creates a different kind of peace and serenity.

My levels of well-being drastically increase when I dive or snorkel. Why?

First, when I dive, my breath is my guide. If you’ve ever scuba-dived, you know what I mean. You can’t help but hear your own breath. Your breath is calming.

Secondly, I am not distracted. I am simply observing. Noticing the plant life, the fish, and their interaction.

What does this sound like?

Mindfulness. Almost a form of meditation.

This is exactly why so many retreats are near breathtaking and exotic natural wonders, engaging our parasympathetic nervous system and improving our well-being.

If you can’t get away to an exotic place, explore the land beneath your feet. Take a Day Retreat and go Forest Bathing, which is much more than a mindful walk in the woods.  It’s embodying the forest, exploring it in new ways. Weather not cooperating? Bring the outdoors in. At last week’s Spring Into Health & Happiness Day Retreat, we did just that! We took a Forest Bath indoors, exploring the forest floor by bringing wood, rocks, moss, and more inside and experiencing it in a more mindful, embodied way.

Treat Your Body Well

Don’t our bodies deserve a change from day to day too?

Our tastebuds yearn for some new flavors. Our muscles want to move in different ways.

Many retreats incorporate exploring our Body Home in new ways. A yoga retreat provides daily Yoga practices that many don’t experience in their daily lives. These new daily retreat rituals, awaken our desires to perhaps practice more often when we get home.

Retreats intentionally provide physical activity to not strain the body, but to ignite it!

Eating differently when on a retreat, treats our body to nutrients and flavors we tend to overlook when eating on the run.

Years ago, on a Tony Robbins Retreat, I was introduced to wheatgrass and eating a plant-based diet. At first, I felt disappointed, like I was missing out by not eating meat or trying local cuisine. But the goal of this retreat was to master our life, including the health of our bodies. By being intentional, and allowing myself to observe the experience, I noticed that although I still enjoy meat, my body feels better when I eat less meat and more veggies and other plant-based foods like mushrooms. I was on retreat to master my health, and that week had a profound effect on how I view food.

I now see food as both fuel for my body and as enjoyment for my tastebuds. And many dishes satisfy both.  This leads me to…..

Discover Your Self in Other Cultures

Retreats not only expose us to other cultures they immerse us in those cultures. To provide us the opportunity to notice similarities and accept our differences, without judgment.

Years ago, Mark and I reunited with our daughter Hana, who was living in Colombia at the time, in Guatemala. We had ever been and were excited to see volcanos and stay on Lake Atitlán, a lake formed by a volcanic eruption 84,000 years ago. This vacation became a retreat of sorts, where we immersed ourselves in the Mayan culture.

Prime example, we took a cooking class. But this cooking class was not a fancy restaurant, let alone any restaurant. It was facilitated at a local Mayan woman’s home. We met her in town at the food market where we shopped with her. Allowing her to explain the intricacies of local vegetables and food.

The cooking class was held at her modest home. We climbed the stairs to the roof where there was an outdoor kitchen. We made a special Guatemalan dish together and sat at the table on the roof exploring the food we had just prepared.

As I look back, I still feel a sense of delight and a better understanding of the people of the area. I noticed how this woman was simply striving to make a better life for herself and her children, just like single moms do here in the US. I noticed that back home in the US, one would have to jump through permitting to allow such a business in their home.

But most importantly, I gained a better understanding of my Self. Gratitude for being able to be there with my daughter. And igniting a desire to leave the world better than I found it. This was travel with a purpose.

Reflection and Self-Care

I define a retreat as “intentionally withdrawing from everyday activities to a safe space in order to reflect on one’s Self and connect to one’s surroundings.”

Although I’ve mentioned some exotic places, some of the best retreats are local and can be as short as a day. They simply need to be intentional and bring us inward.

Retreats don’t have to be centered on Yoga. Journaling, mindfully walking, or even planting flowers and veggies can allow us to reflect on our lives and connect with the world around us.

Our Day Retreats are designed to connect you back to yourself, withdrawing from the everyday.

One of our guests from last week’s Day Retreat posted on Facebook, “It exceeded all of my expectations.  Mark and Kathi have created the ultimate oasis.  They bring so much experience and knowledge to this little corner of South West Michigan.  I left feeling refreshed, energized, and full of new ideas.”

And they can be personal, just for you or a small group of loved ones.

Starting this summer, Eclectic Well-Being will not only continue to offer our amazing destination retreats like our upcoming journey to Amorgos Greece, and our intimate Southwest Michigan Day Retreats like last week’s Spring Into Health & Happiness, but we will be offering personal retreats, where we intentionally plan activities that help you to reflect and connect with your Self. Time for true Self-Care.

Curious about what that could look like?

Maybe you want to explore meditation and learn how to cook healthy meals for your family.  A weekend retreat with us could include a few cooking classes with Mark, a meditation workshop with me, including experimenting with Yoga Nidra and Forest Bathing, and of course a day trip to Silver Beach in nearby St Joe.

Or maybe you’re contemplating a change in your life, a new job, or a relationship.  A weekend immersion in my coaching program, the Total MindShift, can help you explore the future while you relax and unwind on the farm.

Or maybe you want to jumpstart getting healthy! We can help you find physical activities you enjoy while Mark leads you through his Total HealthShift. Try hiking nearby dunes. Of do some gardening for exercise.

We plan this retreat experience with you, ensuring it’s consciously curated to help you create a life and body you love!

Sound interesting? Send me an email and let’s see what we can create for you! Kathi@eclecticwellbeing.com

The post Travel With Purpose – Make It More Than A Vacation appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

How often do you think about your mindset?

You may stop and take notice if you have a positive outlook or a negative outlook.

But is that mindset?

There’s a theory that there are two types of mindsets: growth and fixed.

A growth mindset is what many coaches and psychologists preach, to allow your mindset to develop and change with each experience.

The second is a belief that your strengths and beliefs are fixed and there is no way to change the way your brain processes information.

I can’t imagine anyone having a fixed mindset for their entire life. Maybe less growth and more stubbornness, but even the most stubborn people I know, can be influenced and change their minds. Look at jury trials. A juror comes in believing one thing and with the influence and arguments of his fellow jurors, changes those beliefs until a consensus is reached.

But I digress. Let’s get back to the question, what is mindset?

Merriam-Webster defines it as a mental attitude or inclination.

Dictionary.com states it as a fixed attitude, disposition, or mood.

The Collins English Dictionary refers to mindset as general attitudes and the way one typically thinks about things.

These all sound like they are describing the fixed mindset, don’t they?

So, if there is a difference between a fixed, stagnant mindset, and a growth mindset, one that is changing all the time, what is just mindset?

In my 5+ years now of studying mindset, learning from a variety of mindset leaders, I’ve come to my own way of defining mindset.

It’s how we process information and make decisions that influence our beliefs and actions.

How the Mind Works

Have you ever thought of your mind as if it were a computer? A computer receives data and through numerous if-then statements, it comes up with a way to process that information so that it is useful.  It becomes fact, like our beliefs. Depending on the program, the computer may perform an action with that data.  The way a computer worked prior to AI, was pretty fixed.  A programmer set the code and that was how the computer functioned. But with todays AI technology, computers learn. They alter their programming based on more information and analyzing prior results.

If we relate this to mindset, well a fixed mindset would be yesterday’s computers.  Data in, processed in the same way, getting the same results.

So how does the mind process information? In very simple terms, as data enters through our senses, it is received and relayed through a series of networks made of neurons, prompting you to store that information, act on it, or have emotions around it. A simple 1-minute explanation compares this network to R2D2 from Brainfacts.org.

Back to mindset. One could say that a fixed mindset processes the stimuli received from our senses exactly the same way every time.  A growth mindset learns from experiences and trials and allows the network of brain neurons to constantly change.

Everyone, in my opinion, has a growth mindset. And we all go through stages of growth at different times.

Growth at Any Age

My latest growth spurt began in 2014, at the age of 50, when I started taking yoga classes. At the time I was a successful fashion executive, working in NYC and from what everyone could see from the outside, living a fabulous life!

But that was far from the truth.

I was living in what I call now, a scarcity mindset. Although I was earning a better-than-average living, I lived life through the eyes of it not lasting. As if at any moment it could all be taken away. I held on to money so tight that it would slip through my hands, and I had no idea how not to stop it.

Yoga did not change this thought process, my mindset. What yoga did, was help me relax, to engage the parasympathetic nervous system.

I’ve since learned that the more we can engage in rest and digest, the more aware we are of our conscious and subconscious thoughts. And when we are more aware of our thoughts, observing them instead of being them, we can then start to change the way we think. Change our mindset. Yoga helped me to relax so I could observe my own thoughts. Mindset was changing the way I processed those thoughts.

Two years later, Mark and I bought the Yoga studio we had been attending. This growth spurt of becoming more of who I really wanted to be was in full swing. I was observing, but I still had that scarcity mindset. That at any moment, the bottom would fall out.

Acknowleging My Current Mindset

Then in 2016, I went on a Yoga retreat with Yoga Bohemia (if you are ever on LBI in NJ, check out one of their 3 locations, or better yet, go on a Yoga retreat with the owner! It is truly life-changing.) and I found myself rushing to lunch and dinner, fearful there wouldn’t be enough, and I’d be hungry.

If you’ve never been on a Yoga retreat or any retreat for that matter, you form bonds with the other attendees, different than a Yoga class. On a retreat, you immerse yourself with these people and you start sharing your darkest secrets.

I found myself at one meal sharing my fear of the food running out. Instead of laughing, they helped me dig deeper, to discover it wasn’t just food, but it was everything about life! I feared being poor. I feared being alone. Even what people thought of me. And it all came from scarcity. That there wasn’t enough in the world for everyone and what if I lost everything I had?

After that retreat, I began noticing how this scarcity mindset was keeping me locked in a career I never loved. Locked in volunteering for organizations I no longer connected with.

I finally changed my mindset, the way I processed information, and made a decision to stop living in scarcity. Less than a year later, I manifested my way out of corporate life and decided to become the person I truly wanted to be.

That’s when the darkness set in.

When we start talking about mindset and personal development, many think of it as trying to be happy all the time. I soon learned that’s not the case at all.

Although we can train our brains to have more positive emotions, find gratitude and look at the glass half full rather than half empty, a true growth mindset sees the darkness and then learns from it.

As I immersed myself in helping run our Yoga studio and switched my volunteer activities from sorority to becoming the founder of a non-profit to help bring yoga to underserved populations, I found myself actually more confused and many times disheartened.

Changing Your Mindset is Not Without Pain

The Yoga industry, from the outside, looks filled with love and light. It’s not.

For many, it’s a business.

Sell more packages. Sell more shirts. More workshops. One of my first yoga teachers has been posting about this recently on Instagram and asking the question, are you a Yoga customer, which would make Yoga a commodity, or a Yoga student? Interesting perspective.

When I look back, the confusion I felt stemmed from an inner conflict between my desire to simply help others and my desire to make money.

And as an operator, not the owner of a brand this conflict was even more painful. The brand was focused on expansion and sales, and on the customer, not the student.

Our desire to help our students always won out for Mark and me. We made many decisions during that time that weren’t the best for our bottom line, but they were best for our students.

After five years of being Yoga studio owners, we were forced to close our doors. We still wanted to help people in other ways, but we had over $125,000 in personal debt from the studio, having signed personal guarantees, and had to abide by our non-compete agreement. We decide to expand our coaching business and help people in their health and happiness. Who could have foreseen this would be considered a competing business?

A year and a half later, and 6 months after our non-compete ended, the wolves came knocking. The lesson is not over. We are still learning,  and at a very high cost, financially and emotionally. There must be light beyond the darkness.

And I wouldn’t change a thing.

Growth Can Be Hard

It is not always pleasant.

Growth can have you questioning and doubting your beliefs.

What I’ve learned from this experience is that it is in these times, when we question our own decisions, we question our beliefs, and our purpose, that we actually truly change our mindset. We change the way we think and process information. We grow and we learn.

If I had still been in my scarcity mindset, I would have done anything to reduce my financial risk. I would have continued operating a business that I was not aligned with.

But with a change in the way my brain processes information, I no longer fear financial loss. I know I will survive anything the universe throws at me and that there are many ways I can make a living.

The decisions I make now align with my values, yet they aren’t made wearing rose-colored glasses.

A growth mindset doesn’t ignore the negativity that disrupts our lives, but it also does not dwell in it.

It acknowledges the pain and learns from it.

A growth mindset decides that the future holds opportunity, even if it is currently shadowed by the current darkness.

A growth mindset takes responsibility that our choices brought us where we are today. The good and the bad. And it is our choices and our actions today that will move us to a better tomorrow.

Pause

The next time you find yourself struggling in your current circumstances, pause for a moment and notice your mindset.

Not your emotions. Not whether you are feeling positive or negative.

Instead, notice the thought patterns happening. Are they in a repetitive pattern? That’s your fixed mindset.

Can you explore other possibilities? Change the pattern of your neuro connectors.

What can you learn? What changes can you make?

At the end of the day, we control our lives, we control our thoughts. We control our mindset.

And even though we can change our mindset, sometimes we must walk through the darkness before finding love and light.

The post Mindset – It’s Not All Love and Light appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

This past week, I’ve been getting signs I’ve interpreted to be about having more fun. From a post from a friend and professor of mine asking “What do Gen X, overachievers do for fun?? Beyond reading books, podcasts, & travel…” to day 15 of Gabby Bernstein’s Manifesting challenge, “Follow the Fun,” it seems the universe is whispering to me, “Girl, have more fun!”

I responded to my friend’s post, “Hiking. Gardening.” Both of these are fun for me, but they are also part of what I do for a living. Hiking is part of what we offer through Eclectic Well-Being and gardening is now part of owning Eclectic Sanctuary.

Does my fun always revolve around work?

My mom likes to read. So do I. She reads romance novels. At 84 and with her eyesight diminishing, she is reading once again, Gone With the Wind. What am I reading? Becoming, by Michele Obama. What did I just finish reading? The Subtle Art of Not Giving F*ck by Mark Mason. Is my reading fun or personal development? So, I ponder…

What is Fun?

As usual, I go to dictionary.com to ensure I understand the definition of fun. Maybe, after all these 58 years, I don’t know what fun is. 🤷‍♀️

I confirm that Fun is a noun. It is “something that provides mirth or amusement.”

What actually is mirth?

Check that definition and it seems it’s all about laughing.

Does this mean my fun must include laughing? I don’t really laugh much when I’m hiking or gardening. But I do find amusement (something that entertains) in both. Watching nature is entertaining, whether it’s on a hike and seeing birds and other forest life or watching my garden bloom. I do find nature quite entertaining, but I wouldn’t say it’s amusing. Amusing is back to that whole mirth thing, something that includes laughter.

Maybe I don’t really experience fun?

I move on to the second definition of fun, “enjoyment or playfulness.” Well finally!  I enjoy hiking! I enjoy gardening. Not sure if they are considered playfulness, but if fun is enjoyment – maybe I do have fun!

But I also enjoy working. Should I include work as part of my fun?

And if I’m in the right mindset, I can make cleaning the house fun. But does that also count as part of my fun activities for the week? In response to my friend’s post, could I say work and cleaning the house?  I think if I did, people would call me crazy.

Why Fun?

I’ve thought about fun before when I noticed I was so engrossed in my coaching and speaking engagements. It’s what inspired Explore Laugh Play, a summer 30-Day Challenge to put more fun in your life.

If you’ve played with me, you know I have plenty of ideas for Play!

In the challenge, we play hopscotch. Make an attempt at building a fort. We blow bubbles and catch fireflies. We explore, we laugh and we play.

Unstructured play is one of the best ways children develop. They learn social skills.

Play engages creativity. Play teaches probelm solving skills. When we allow children to play, we build their confidence and increase their overall well-being.

Adults also benefit from play. Similar to meditation, play allows us to be in the moment. It allows us to detach from responsibility and reduce our stress levels.

Adults also benefit for engaging our creativity and problem-solving skills from play. This usually makes us more productive at work and home.

Playing outdoors, we get fresh air, which helps us sleep better.

And as we age, play produces more grey matter, which is important for memory and reducing our chances of dementia.

What About Having Fun Other Than Through Play?

Catherine Price, author of the book The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again, states that true fun “materializes when we experience the confluence of three psychological states: playfulness, connection, and flow.” (https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/23/well/mind/having-fun-suceeding-coronavirus-pandemic.html)

She goes on to describe playfulness as doing things just for the pleasure of it. Ok, so fun has to be done for the pleasure of it.

Connection is having an experience with another person. It’s developing relationships.

Then flow is that feeling we get when we are so engaged in an activity, that we lose all track of time.

If I understand her correctly, one needs to experience all three: playfulness, connection, and flow, for an activity to be fun!

That opens up many of my daily experiences. Writing this article, part of my work, can be considered fun!  I enjoy writing just for the heck of it. It may be part of my work, but it became work because I enjoy it. And I want my work to be enjoyable. It’s connecting with all of you reading it. And I’m totally in flow!  The only reason I noticed the time was because my stomach started grumbling for lunch!

But is having fun while working enough?

Money, Health, Joy, and Peace

Stan Jacobs, author of  The Dusk And Dawn Master: A Practical Guide to Transforming Evening and Morning Habits, Achieving Better Sleep, and Mastering Your Life  states “To be happy in life, develop at least four hobbies: one to bring you money, one to keep you healthy, one to bring you joy, and one to bring you peace.”

I like this way of thinking, but can we apply it to fun? After all Fun is not Happiness.

However, studies show, having fun does contribute to happiness. And what are hobbies? Aren’t hobbies things we do for fun?

So what if we had something that we did for fun, that also brought in money? If our work, our job, career, or business was also something that we find playful, connecting us and being in flow?

Then, what if we have an activity that is fun but also keeps us healthy? Instead of despising our exercise class or eating cottage cheese because it’s healthy, what if we took dance classes with our spouse and ate a delicious but healthy dinner that we prepared together at a cooking class? Fun, but all healthy things!

Can something fun, bring pure simple joy? Joy comes from the little things in life: playing with a dog, spending time with our kids, going to a Broadway show with sorority sisters. These also are playful, connecting, and engaging flow.

That leaves peace. What do I do for fun that also brings me peace? I love to sit and watch the sunset over Lake Michigan. Waking up to a beautiful sunrise. Practicing Restorative Yoga at home, beside my fireplace with my honey and the cats and the dog. Yes, these are playful, connecting (with my Self and with Spirit) and they always go way too fast.

Back to the Signs

So, why so many signs that I need to have more fun? I feel like my life is filled with fun.

Perhaps it was just a reminder to engage in all areas of fun. I engage regularly in the first two. I am so grateful that my work is fun as I know many who live paycheck to paycheck and at a job they do not consider fun. Being healthy is a choice and I choose to be healthy in a fun way! Mark and I did take dance classes years ago and it’s on my list for us to take some cooking classes at a local place here in St Joe.

But doing things that bring me joy and peace? I do those, but they tend to be less regular, less often and I think for 2023 that needs to change. The change started, but I think the signs were reminding me and ensuring me, that they become more frequent and consistent.

Tonight looks like it may be a perfect sunset. I think I’ll take a drive to the lake with Mark and Ciara and find joy and peace this evening.

Need some inspiration to have more fun in your life? Check out the Free 7-Day MindShift! Shifting your thoughts so that you can have more fun!

The post Do I Have Fun? appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.