I’ve found over the years that practicing gratitude isn’t just about listing things I’m thankful for. It’s about fully embodying a sense of appreciation that reaches into all aspects of life. In one of my past blog posts, Why I Spend 30 Days Focused on Gratitude, I shared my personal journey of committing to a month of gratitude each year. This practice transformed my perspective. Making me not only happier, but more resilient in the face of life’s ups and downs. I truly believe gratitude is key to a fulfilling life. Why not join me in experiencing its powerful effects.

The Science Behind Gratitude and Happiness

When we look at the research, the benefits of gratitude are undeniable. Gratitude has been studied extensively, and its benefits go far beyond that warm feeling we get when we think about what we’re thankful for. Research from Harvard Medical School reveals that gratitude actually rewires our brains to make us happier, healthier, and more resilient. According to the article Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier, those who actively practice gratitude experience more positive emotions. They feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness. They even have stronger immune systems. With this in mind, the science is clear: gratitude isn’t just an emotion; it’s a powerful tool for creating a happier, more fulfilling life.

8 Ways Gratitude Boosts Happiness

In a blog post by Grateful.org, gratitude is highlighted as a powerful way to boost happiness through eight specific pathways.

1. Improved Relationships: Gratitude strengthens our connections with others, making us feel more valued and appreciated.
2. Enhanced Self-Worth: By focusing on what we’re grateful for, we shift our attention away from self-criticism, building a more positive self-image.
3. Greater Resilience: Gratitude provides perspective during difficult times, helping us focus on what we have instead of what we lack.
4. Reduced Stress: A focus on gratitude allows our minds to escape the stress cycle by emphasizing what’s going well.
5. Better Sleep: Practicing gratitude before bed can help calm the mind, setting us up for a restful night.
6. Boosted Physical Health: Studies have shown that grateful people tend to take better care of their health, engaging in behaviors like exercise, better nutrition, and regular check-ups.
7. Increased Empathy and Kindness: Gratitude enhances our ability to see the good in others, making us more understanding and compassionate.
8. Sustained Positive Emotions: Over time, gratitude promotes a more lasting sense of joy by helping us savor the small moments in life.

When we practice gratitude, we train our minds to notice the beauty and kindness around us. And over time, that shift in perspective builds a happier, more fulfilling life.

Gratitude and the 24 Character Strengths

In positive psychology, gratitude is recognized as one of the 24 Character Strengths. According to the VIA Character Institute, these strengths are like a toolkit for a fulfilling life. And gratitude is a powerful piece of that toolkit. Gratitude is a strength that can be developed, practiced, and embodied. It has the power to influence our outlook and enrich our lives.

If you haven’t taken the VIA Character Strengths assessment, I encourage you to do so. It’s a free tool that helps you understand your unique strengths, showing how gratitude fits into the larger picture of who you are. When we recognize gratitude as a core strength, we give ourselves permission to lean into it, using it as a foundation for growth, connection, and resilience.

Gratitude Through Life’s Challenges: An Exercise in Resilience

One of the most beautiful aspects of gratitude is its ability to ground us even in challenging times. Life is filled with moments of both joy and struggle. Although it’s easy to feel grateful when things are going well, real growth happens when we find ways to appreciate life’s difficulties too.

Try this exercise: Think of someone or something you’re deeply grateful for. Let yourself feel the warmth and fullness of that gratitude. Now, imagine going back in time to see all the steps that led to that moment. Perhaps there were difficult situations, unexpected turns, or even losses along the way. We may not have felt grateful in those moments, but looking back, we can see how each one was a stepping stone that led us here. Recognizing this can be incredibly empowering—it reminds us that even our struggles can bear gifts.

This perspective is echoed in the inspiring story of a young man who lost his leg at age 10, yet through it, found a deep sense of resilience. In a powerful video, he shares how embracing gratitude gave him the strength to rebuild his life, focusing not on what was lost but on what could be gained. His story is a reminder that even in the darkest of times, gratitude offers us a way forward, helping us find light amid shadows.

Daily Gratitude: Building a Happier, More Resilient Life

Research shows that gratitude becomes even more powerful when we make it part of our daily routine. When we approach each day with an open heart, looking for moments of beauty and kindness, we start to notice more good things. Our lives begin to feel more peaceful and joyful because we’re actively tuning into the gifts around us. Small, consistent acts of gratitude—like keeping a gratitude journal, expressing appreciation to loved ones, or simply taking a moment to savor something beautiful—can create lasting happiness.

But practicing gratitude every day isn’t about glossing over the hard stuff or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about choosing to see the good that exists alongside the challenges. Harvard’s research shows that when we regularly practice gratitude, we not only feel happier in the moment, but we also cultivate a lasting sense of contentment. We begin to find joy in the present instead of waiting for things to get “better.” This shift in perspective brings us a deep sense of peace.

Imagine, for a moment, starting each day with a sense of openness, asking yourself, “What am I grateful for today?” Over time, this simple habit becomes transformative. You’ll begin to notice beauty in places you might not have noticed before. As well as experience a deeper connection with yourself and those around you.

When we practice embracing gratitude for a happier, resilient life, we’re choosing to build a reserve of positivity that supports us through life’s inevitable challenges. The beauty of gratitude is that it’s available to us at any moment. Whether we’re celebrating a joyful occasion or navigating a difficult one, it’s a tool for seeing the bigger picture. As well as for recognizing that even in the most challenging circumstances, there is something to be grateful for.

Join Our 10-Day Gratitude Challenge

You now see how transfmormative gratitude is. How it’s something that can be cultivated with intention. If you’re ready to start embracing gratitude for a happier, resilient life, I invite you to join me in our 10-day Gratitude Challenge,  which starts on November 19 and culminates on Thanksgiving Day. Over these ten days, we’ll explore different ways to bring gratitude into our lives. From reflecting on past blessings, to appreciating the present moment. Each day, we’ll take a step closer to cultivating a practice that not only brings happiness but also strengthens our ability to face life’s ups and downs with grace.

This journey is a chance to dive deeper, to discover the power of gratitude, and to make it a part of who we are. When we look through the lens of gratitude, we see that even the hardest moments carry the seeds of beauty, strength, and transformation and we begin to make it a practice that stays with us long after November ends.

Here’s to a season of gratitude—and to a happier, more resilient life.

The post Embracing Gratitude for a Happier Resilient Life appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

With the same results each time: Lose a little bit of weight on the diet. Get tired of the diet because it’s impossible to maintain for whatever reason. Go back to “normal food” and slowly gain back the weight lost, plus a little bit to add more motivation next year.

It doesn’t really add motivation though, does it? It’s more like adjusting to the new normal and seeing how long it takes before new clothing becomes mandatory because the old clothes are too tight now.

And that’s the whole cycle. Get tired of being too heavy, go on a diet, lose a bit of weight, gain it all back, and try again next year. So many people experience this that there’s even a term for it.

Yo-yo dieting.

So-named because that’s what happens to the weight. It bobs up and down, slowly but steadily climbing a bit higher over the course of the year, until we decide to do something about it, then it drops, and begins to climb all over again.

I suppose we could also have called it “itsy-bitsy spider dieting,” as the spider seems as persistent as that yo-yo.

Regardless of what we call it though, living through it feels demoralizing.

Year after year, sometimes more than once per year, we put ourselves through this. Consistently trying to get onto the other side of the scale, where the numbers go down and stay down.

But they don’t. We watch the mirror in horror as our face swells to the point that we no longer see any family resemblance. We are now the generic “fat person” background character in someone else’s movie.

Why is getting healthy so hard? Why do we have to struggle like this?

Some people can’t take it any longer and resort to drastic medical measures, like having their stomachs stapled so they physically can’t eat as much food. And sometimes that doesn’t work either!

Can you imagine undergoing surgery in an effort to lose weight, and still have it fail?

Now the medical community is even armed with shots to help lose weight. These products are brand-new. Has there been a long-term study on their effects on the body? Will we be watching TV in 2036 and seeing ads for, “If you used MiracleDrug and are now experiencing symptoms of disintegrating liver [or some long list of other possible horrible ailments] YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION!” Time will tell.

Why does getting healthy have to be so darned hard?

What if it wasn’t? What if all you needed to do to become the healthy version of yourself is eat and move a bit?

That sounds like fantasy, doesn’t it? Yet for millions of people, it’s reality.

No, there’s no accompanying magic pill to take that makes all of your consumed calories disappear. Likewise, there’s no special food, instant meals, or shake packages. You can literally eat the foods you enjoy, move your body in whatever way you can, and watch the scale go in reverse.

Yes, you do need to move your body. Does that mean hours upon hours of standing-in-place cardio sessions? Nope.

I was skeptical too when I came across this method.

I thought the only way to lose weight and get into shape was to spend a lifetime at the gym, drinking kale smoothies, and eating bland, flavorless “health” food.

Yet I made pork tacos with Spanish Rice for dinner last night, and every Friday night is Pizza Night.

I’m also a chocoholic. I eat chocolate every single day, and I typically end each day with ice cream.

Yet I dropped from 240 down to 168 eating just like this.

Mind you, I didn’t stay at 168 for more than a month or so. People started telling me I was looking “too thin,” so I tweaked my plan a bit and popped up to 183, where I’ve been holding steady since 2020.

So, what do you need to do to make this work for yourself? To answer that, I created a whole year-long immersion program.

During that program, I go over the nine core competencies that everyone must master to live a full and healthy life. None of them are hard, but it’s likely that you’re not doing all nine in the right way at the moment.

I know I sure wasn’t! That’s why, even though I was working out like a madman at the gym, I wasn’t seeing the results I wanted on the scale, or on my body for that matter.

After making these small tweaks, though, everything changed. It really does feel like magic! It took me several decades to pack on all that weight, but once I really got into it, that fat just melted right off in months.

While learning the nine core competencies, I also help my clients to incorporate them into their lives, so that they really start living them and embodying them. After that, I celebrate with them each month as the scale begins to drop, they buy a new outfit in a smaller size, their clothes start to fit how they want them to fit, and they start to admire their own reflection again.

Will it work for you?

Let’s find out! Schedule a call with me to discuss your situation, and if you think it makes sense for us to work together, we will 😊 If not, no worries. I want to work with clients who want my help. Is that you? Click the link below:

Visit: https://www.eclecticwellbeing.com/Mark1-2-1

The post Why is Getting Healthy so Hard? appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Six months have come and gone. In just another week, we will start the second half of 2023.

Did you make any goals for the year? Any New Year Intentions?

Summer is a perfect time to recommit to our Intentions, reimagine our goals, make any adjustments and reset!

As the seasons change, we do as well. But it’s important to take time to reflect. Change course or recommit. Maybe change our strategies. Or even change our mindset!

Take charge of the second half of the year. Weed and cultivate your garden! The garden that is the life you create!

Weed Your Garden

Have you ever noticed how all of a sudden your garden goes from having no weeds to having so many you don’t know how you’ll ever clear them all!  I can go for days without noticing the weeds and then all of a sudden, BAMB, they are just everywhere!

They were there all along. Popping up a little each day. I was just too busy to notice.

When one weed pops up through the soil, next to our beloved flowers or veggies, we don’t take the time to really notice it. But that weed runs underground and pops another weed. And another. And another. Our negative thoughts and limiting beliefs act in the same way. One pops in our mind, and we don’t notice its impact. But then it roots into our mind, and another appears. And another. And soon our mind is racing with negative thoughts and limiting beliefs, stopping us from following our intentions, living the life we truly desire. Giving up on our dreams and goals.

We can’t stop them until we notice them.

A while back during a call with our coach, (yes, coaches have coaches) Mark realized that the block he was having was the same limiting belief he thought he had cleared out long ago. But here it was, resurfacing.  His mind was getting weeds again, but he hadn’t noticed. It took our coach asking the right questions for him to notice. That’s what coaches do. Help you notice.

Many of our limiting beliefs are woven in so tight in our minds, they remain hidden, simply something we continue to think, like a bad habit. They remain until we stop and notice them. It is only when we notice them can we remove them from our minds, just like we weed the garden.

It’s all about the practice we call, the Power of Decision.

If you’ve been a part of any of our coaching programs, you’ll recall this being part of it. This concept completely changed our lives and continues to keep us moving forward, even when life throws us difficulties. A practice so life changing is worth sharing!

Our limiting beliefs are what hold us back. They stop us from fulfilling our intentions.

In order to live the life we truly desire, we have to make powerful decision. But to do that, we have to let go of limiting beliefs. But we can’t let go of them until we notice them.

Are any limiting beliefs stopping you right now from your intentions for 2023?

Have you stopped to acknowledge them? Have you made a new powerful decision? (Check out the 7-Day MindShift if you need help in making new powerful decisions. Or if you’re in SW Michigan, come to our event on Wednesday, June 28 at the South Shore Health & Racquet Club in St Joe, Get Happy Get Healthy)

Cultivate Your Garden

Once we weed the mind of our limiting beliefs and reset our intentions with powerful decisions, recommitting to our desires, it’s time to cultivate our garden.

Just as we cultivate our gardens in the summer, ensuring a bountiful harvest in the fall, now is the time to cultivate our dreams and desires. Fertilize your dreams with education and support. Water your garden of dreams by taking action each and every day.

Our dreams can have difficulty becoming reality when we don’t take the time to nurture them. We need to support them with action. This could be taking a class to learn more about what we want. Hiring a coach to help keep us accountable. Talking with others who can help us. If we do something every day that is aligned with our desires, we are walking the path and it will lead us to our dreams.

Taking action throughout the year, ensures the same bountiful harvest for our intentions as for our gardens.

Summer Kickstart

If you are feeling stuck and want to kickstart your intentions for 2023, here are few ideas to get you going!

1. Review your intentions. Are they still important to you? If no, let them go and define some new ones. If not recommit and move on. Take a moment and read my thoughts on maybe just utilizing a word for the rest of the year in last January blog post, LIFE IS AN ENDLESS PROGRESSION OF BECOMING.
2. Create or update your vision board. Vision Boards help our brain learn what is important to us. Summer is a great time to update it. If you don’t have a vision board, create one! Vision Boards are a great way to gain clarity of what we desire and provide focus each day by displaying it in a prominent place.
3. Weed out those limiting beliefs. Learn more abour limiting beliefs in another blog post, STEP 3 OF CONSCIOUSLY CREATING A LIFE YOU LOVE.
4. Cultivate your dreams by taking action. Decide what you are going to do to move yourself closer to your desires. They don’t have to be huge things, just small steps, small changes that are aligned with your intentions or your goals. A quick read that helped me see it’s all about doing just 3 simple things a day is THE POWER OF 3, by Lisa Dietlin.

Summer can be the perfect time for kickstarting the dreams and intention you had just 6 months ago. It’s a time for resetting and ensuring 2023 is the year we break free and move into becoming our best Self. Living our best life! Creating a life we love.

And if you want to spend the summer playing more, exploring more and laughing more, using play to invigorate your spirit, join me for our 30-day challenge, Explore Laugh Play! Play is not just for kids! It’s completely Free and completely Fun!

The post Kickstart Your 2023 Intentions appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

I love to travel! Who doesn’t? Challenging myself to do new things. Discovering beautiful places to renew my spirit. Savoring new flavors on my palette. Engaging with people different than me and understanding other cultures.

Travel improves our well-being in many ways.

Studies show that travel help reduces the risks of heart disease. Travel can increase your levels of dopamine, which helps to feel deeper levels of satisfaction and pleasure. We boost our creativity when traveling in a foreign country, not only finding ways to communicate when we don’t speak the language but also there are many ways to do activities we do every day and take for granted.

Traveling, whether abroad or to nearby destinations, is something many of us do, but without intention and without embracing all these well-being benefits.  We go on a trip. Explore the sites, usually with our phone in hand, taking picture after picture, posting selfies on social media, and missing half of what is in our site.

We dine at delicious restaurants. Perhaps even order a tasty dish that we’ve never tried before and may never eat again because we have no idea what is in it or how it was prepared.

But have you been on a retreat? Maybe it was a yoga retreat to deepen your practice or focus on a particular flavor of yoga. Or perhaps it was a spiritual retreat, filled with silence and prayer. Or maybe a day retreat, time spent away from the day-to-day to fill your cup!

Retreats are travel with a purpose. Intentionally embracing the well-being benefits we are blessed with when we explore new destinations, and cultures and partake in novel activities.

The World Is Your Backyard

How many plant species are in your yard? A hundred? Two hundred? Even if it’s 500, that’s less than 1% of all plant species in the world!

When we travel, we can explore nature. Allow our senses to notice the different sites, sounds, and smells of the landscape.

My favorite area of the worldwide backyard is beneath the ocean. No matter how hard you want to see coral, you can only see it in its living form underwater.  The beauty of the ocean and the life living there is remarkable. Filled with color. Vibrancy. And without much sound, it creates a different kind of peace and serenity.

My levels of well-being drastically increase when I dive or snorkel. Why?

First, when I dive, my breath is my guide. If you’ve ever scuba-dived, you know what I mean. You can’t help but hear your own breath. Your breath is calming.

Secondly, I am not distracted. I am simply observing. Noticing the plant life, the fish, and their interaction.

What does this sound like?

Mindfulness. Almost a form of meditation.

This is exactly why so many retreats are near breathtaking and exotic natural wonders, engaging our parasympathetic nervous system and improving our well-being.

If you can’t get away to an exotic place, explore the land beneath your feet. Take a Day Retreat and go Forest Bathing, which is much more than a mindful walk in the woods.  It’s embodying the forest, exploring it in new ways. Weather not cooperating? Bring the outdoors in. At last week’s Spring Into Health & Happiness Day Retreat, we did just that! We took a Forest Bath indoors, exploring the forest floor by bringing wood, rocks, moss, and more inside and experiencing it in a more mindful, embodied way.

Treat Your Body Well

Don’t our bodies deserve a change from day to day too?

Our tastebuds yearn for some new flavors. Our muscles want to move in different ways.

Many retreats incorporate exploring our Body Home in new ways. A yoga retreat provides daily Yoga practices that many don’t experience in their daily lives. These new daily retreat rituals, awaken our desires to perhaps practice more often when we get home.

Retreats intentionally provide physical activity to not strain the body, but to ignite it!

Eating differently when on a retreat, treats our body to nutrients and flavors we tend to overlook when eating on the run.

Years ago, on a Tony Robbins Retreat, I was introduced to wheatgrass and eating a plant-based diet. At first, I felt disappointed, like I was missing out by not eating meat or trying local cuisine. But the goal of this retreat was to master our life, including the health of our bodies. By being intentional, and allowing myself to observe the experience, I noticed that although I still enjoy meat, my body feels better when I eat less meat and more veggies and other plant-based foods like mushrooms. I was on retreat to master my health, and that week had a profound effect on how I view food.

I now see food as both fuel for my body and as enjoyment for my tastebuds. And many dishes satisfy both.  This leads me to…..

Discover Your Self in Other Cultures

Retreats not only expose us to other cultures they immerse us in those cultures. To provide us the opportunity to notice similarities and accept our differences, without judgment.

Years ago, Mark and I reunited with our daughter Hana, who was living in Colombia at the time, in Guatemala. We had ever been and were excited to see volcanos and stay on Lake Atitlán, a lake formed by a volcanic eruption 84,000 years ago. This vacation became a retreat of sorts, where we immersed ourselves in the Mayan culture.

Prime example, we took a cooking class. But this cooking class was not a fancy restaurant, let alone any restaurant. It was facilitated at a local Mayan woman’s home. We met her in town at the food market where we shopped with her. Allowing her to explain the intricacies of local vegetables and food.

The cooking class was held at her modest home. We climbed the stairs to the roof where there was an outdoor kitchen. We made a special Guatemalan dish together and sat at the table on the roof exploring the food we had just prepared.

As I look back, I still feel a sense of delight and a better understanding of the people of the area. I noticed how this woman was simply striving to make a better life for herself and her children, just like single moms do here in the US. I noticed that back home in the US, one would have to jump through permitting to allow such a business in their home.

But most importantly, I gained a better understanding of my Self. Gratitude for being able to be there with my daughter. And igniting a desire to leave the world better than I found it. This was travel with a purpose.

Reflection and Self-Care

I define a retreat as “intentionally withdrawing from everyday activities to a safe space in order to reflect on one’s Self and connect to one’s surroundings.”

Although I’ve mentioned some exotic places, some of the best retreats are local and can be as short as a day. They simply need to be intentional and bring us inward.

Retreats don’t have to be centered on Yoga. Journaling, mindfully walking, or even planting flowers and veggies can allow us to reflect on our lives and connect with the world around us.

Our Day Retreats are designed to connect you back to yourself, withdrawing from the everyday.

One of our guests from last week’s Day Retreat posted on Facebook, “It exceeded all of my expectations.  Mark and Kathi have created the ultimate oasis.  They bring so much experience and knowledge to this little corner of South West Michigan.  I left feeling refreshed, energized, and full of new ideas.”

And they can be personal, just for you or a small group of loved ones.

Starting this summer, Eclectic Well-Being will not only continue to offer our amazing destination retreats like our upcoming journey to Amorgos Greece, and our intimate Southwest Michigan Day Retreats like last week’s Spring Into Health & Happiness, but we will be offering personal retreats, where we intentionally plan activities that help you to reflect and connect with your Self. Time for true Self-Care.

Curious about what that could look like?

Maybe you want to explore meditation and learn how to cook healthy meals for your family.  A weekend retreat with us could include a few cooking classes with Mark, a meditation workshop with me, including experimenting with Yoga Nidra and Forest Bathing, and of course a day trip to Silver Beach in nearby St Joe.

Or maybe you’re contemplating a change in your life, a new job, or a relationship.  A weekend immersion in my coaching program, the Total MindShift, can help you explore the future while you relax and unwind on the farm.

Or maybe you want to jumpstart getting healthy! We can help you find physical activities you enjoy while Mark leads you through his Total HealthShift. Try hiking nearby dunes. Of do some gardening for exercise.

We plan this retreat experience with you, ensuring it’s consciously curated to help you create a life and body you love!

Sound interesting? Send me an email and let’s see what we can create for you! Kathi@eclecticwellbeing.com

The post Travel With Purpose – Make It More Than A Vacation appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

A number of years ago I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions or even Intentions. I simply decided to choose a word and apply that to my life for the year. Choosing the word is done somewhat randomly each year. In 2020, I was at a NY meditation practice and the word Zest was spoken.  I had been thinking about that word as it’s also one of the 24 VIA Character Strengths and one that I did not use often enough. I decided that word showing up was a sign for it to be my word for the year. Imagine, focusing on Zest in my life in 2020. The Universe gave me a challenge and I obliged.

Trust the Universe

In 2021, Mark and I were in the midst of bankruptcy and legal issues regarding the closing of our Yoga studio. I wanted it all to be over and just move on, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I had to trust the process. Lawsuits and bankruptcy take time, and patience was needed.

We had also just launched Eclectic Well-Being and were venturing into the unknown of not just owning our coaching business but creating it together. We had owned the Yoga studio together, but being a franchise, we were more like operators. Eclectic Well-Being was our creation. We were doing it together! I had to trust that we could do this and more: work together, play together, create together, make a living together and keep our marriage strong. Trust was the obvious word for 2021.

Learning to Surrender

A few months before New Year’s 2022, I made a decision to move to Michigan and open a small retreat center. A place that guests could come to relax, as well as be coached or practice Yoga or meditation or forest bathing. When I first told Mark of this decision, he was not interested. I loved him, but I knew in my heart I needed to create this space. I put it out there and kept talking about it, trusting he would come around. And finally, during a mindset retreat in Costa Rica, he did! Trust was working.

Then we announced our move to Michigan to our kids, and my daughter, was not happy to say the least. It felt as if I would break her heart leaving her home in New Jersey. I started having second thoughts. Unsure if my decision was the right one.

As I was working on my vision board, the word Surrender jumped off the page of a magazine and I somehow, I just knew, that was my word!

It showed up time and time again.

Looking at properties up and down the east coast, but always something just not quite right, surrendering that one will come along. Finding the right one on a gut feeling, in Michigan, just when I was about to give up! Selling our house soon after finding Eclectic Sanctuary. My daughter coming around and seeing the beauty and synchronicity in the property now called Eclectic Sanctuary.

Surrendering when we were dragged back into legal issues I had no control over.

Surrender even showed up at our annual Mindset Retreat!

The word was everywhere! What a year! But I am finally able to let go of the things I cannot change and Surrender that the Universe always has my back.

Signs are Everywhere

In December I started thinking about what word would be my word for this new year. A year once again filled with changes. Living in Michigan. Getting Eclectic Sanctuary up and running. Navigating life without my New Jersey Tribe, but reconnecting with friends and family back in the Midwest.

I haven’t been reading much and one evening decided to find a book I could read at my leisure. No self-help book, but something inspiring. Opening up an unpacked box of books, Becoming by Michelle Obama was on top. Hana, my daughter recommended it years ago. I bought it and it sat on my bookshelf until being packed for the move to Michigan. Why not? It seemed to be calling to me.

In the preface, Michelle talks about her aspirations and how they have changed throughout her life. How we ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and expect an answer to this pointless question “As if growing up is finite,” Michelles states. “As if at some point you become something and that’s the end.”

These words connected with me. Afterall, I’ve been reinventing myself my entire life. I am always becoming.

Then, a day or two later, I began researching quotes about failure for my digital 7 Day MindShift Course and found this one from Fredrick Lenz.

“There is no such thing as completion. These are only stages in an endless progression. There are no final outcomes or decisions, since nothing ever stays the same.”

We are always Becoming.

I knew then that no matter how unoriginal it seems to use Michelle Obama’s book title, my word for 2023 had to be Becoming.

This year, and every year, I am Becoming. I have never grown up. I continue to become who I am meant to be.

My life has no destination other than death, and I am no hurry to get there.

Rather my life is a journey of endless progression. An endless process of Becoming.

This year I am becoming an owner of Eclectic Sanctuary. I am becoming an herb farmer. I will become a caretaker for a flock of chickens in the spring. Mark is becoming a ________ ­­­­­(it’s still a secret, but hopefully soon we can share!).

I am becoming stronger. Becoming more patient. I’m becoming calmer. And becoming more compassionate.

I am becoming more of who I am meant to be!

Who are you Becoming this year?

What word will guide you in 2023?

Discover more about Eclectic Well-Being and Eclectic Sanctuary by following us on Social Media and signing up for our monthly newsletter.

Watch as I continue to Become.

The post Life is an Endless Progression of BECOMING. appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Every year I choose a word to help me make some lasting changes in my life. In 2020 the word was Zest. Zest is one of 24 Character Strengths. Defined as approaching life feeling activated and enthusiastic. Imagine that has my focus for 2020! (you have to admit the Universe knew what it was doing) It was one of my lesser strengths on my VIA Character Strength Profile. I wanted this strength to become one of my more used strengths so I intentionally made it my word for the year. And guess what? It actually moved up the scale.

Last year my word was Trust. We had filed bankruptcy on our business rather than stay connected to a franchise we no longer felt aligned with. Eclectic Well-Being was created and trusting things would all work out was at the core of moving forward. I had to trust in myself. Trust in Mark. And Trust in the process.

Trust also allowed me to let go of trying to fix things for others, particularly those closest to me. If I loved them and believed in them, I had to trust them instead of fixing them. It has changed the way I look at so many things.

This year my word is Surrender, which is similar to trust, but it’s more than trusting. It’s adding on giving up control. It’s trusting, but instead of worrying, thinking about it, or constantly taking action upon action, (my favorite way to maintain trust) it’s letting go and truly believing that whatever happens, it is part of a divine plan.

What is Surrender?

Dictionary.com defines surrender as “to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress.” It also defines it as, “to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.”

My definition is a bit of both. I see surrender as yielding control to the Universe, but not under duress, I am giving my control willing.

It’s been tough for me embodying this word, surrender. Yielding control is not easy for me. Surrender is so much more than trust. I must admit, I have not been embracing the word as much as I could be.

My Futile Attempts to Surrender

Last month we journeyed to Cabo San Lucas for a Business Retreat. It was part of the coaching program we belong to and it’s been 3 years since we were together in person for this event. I must admit, I wasn’t excited. I had so much to do. Properties to see. Did I really need to be gone for 5 days?

But we went. I intentionally booked later morning flights as I am getting to old to get up in the middle of the night to catch a 6 a.m. flight. But that later flight meant we had a tighter connection. And low and behold, our flight was late. A good 30 minutes behind departure and with less than an hour layover, I surrendered to the fact we were not going to make our connection. But letting go of control? Nope. There I was on my phone, seeing when the next flight from DFW to Cabo departed. Taking action, again, instead of simply surrendering.

There was a later flight, about 4 hours later, but at least we would still get there the same day. Ok, now I could surrender.

However, the Universe was not only able to get us to DFW on time, and with no difficulty, at all, we actually made our original connection. Wow! How did that happen?

I didn’t make it happen. I had no control over the situation. Yet, our trip progressed exactly as it was meant to and my action in figuring out when the next flight we could possible take was futile.

12 steps

So here we are in Cabo, and I’m starting to actually enjoy and feel excited and engaged in the setting, the people, and the discussions. I’m learning and noticing what we could utilize in growing our business. And then, a topic never presented before comes up, the 12-step program.

Wait, I’m at a business retreat, not an addiction recovery retreat. How does this relate to my business?

Intrigued with this subject, I listen inently. I know about the 12 steps, but I have no idea what the 12 steps are except, don’t they revolve around surrendering? We’re given an exercise  to identify our greatest accomplishment and the things we’re most grateful for. Then work backward, identifying all the things that had to happen in order for that to happen. Notice then, how much of that was not in our control.

I work the process, the exercise. I utilized a couple of different things and all came back to a situation or event that I had no control over. And if I take that back even further, I get to me being born, which again, I had no control over.

But What About Free Will

I leave the session feeling a bit confused and also I admit, defeated. If I have no control, and that the Universe (God if you prefer), is fully in control, what is my purpose? Don’t I have “free-will?” Don’t the choices I make do anything?

I was filled with questions. A part of me felt really good. Letting go of control means you also let go of failures. Accepting that was is happening is exactly what is supposed to be happening.

Yet, if I’m here for a reason, I have a purpose to serve, then don’t I have some control? Oh how my mind was moving in numerous directions.

Now you may be wondering why the 12-step program was even brought up at a business retreat. Well 12 steps are about addiction and the way we think, and our thought patterns can also be an addiction. We can be addicted to worry. To overthinking. To negative self-talk.  That made complete sense to me and I was intrigued as to how to apply this new learning to Eclectic and all my dreams for a sanctuary.

However, I was struggling with this idea as well. The conflict in my mind of Surrendering and Free Will.

Getting to the Root of It

The next day we started like usual with David, the leader of the retreat, taking questions from the floor. I raised my hand. Not even sure what my question was, but I knew I needed more discussion on the previous day’s topic, surrender.  I don’t raise my had often and many times by the time I do, David has already determined who to call on. But this time, my hand was up and just like that, I was asking David for his opinion or thoughts on if the Universe is in control and I if need to just surrender, where is my free-will? How can both be true? What about all the talk of making powerful decisions – David’s Key Phrase.

When you ask David a question, he does not just answer it. He asks questions right back at you, allowing you to process and eventually answer the question yourself. It’s what coaches do and what I try to do for my clients. I knew that was going to be the scenario, but it’s difficult to ask yourself the right questions. That’s why even though Mark and I are coaches, we also have a coach.

I don’t remember what he asked me, but we went back and forth for quite a while. We talked about how Mark surrenders more easily. What am I addicted to, which it wasn’t until this discussion that I realized it’s control. I shared that surrender is my word for this year and how this seemed so serendipitous. But I wasn’t quite understanding still, even with all this discussion.

And then it hit me.

Like a rock. I’m not sure if he said something or it just clicked in my brain. But I realized I had recently learned to surrender in my relationships. Trusting others to make the right decisions, yet, still being there for them. Still supporting them and taking action. But I surrender to the outcome, knowing I don’t have control of their lives. I am no longer tied to the outcome, but I am still invested in their well-being.

This is what is missing in my business. I still need that control. I need to feel that if I do something different, something more, I can get the outcome I want. In reality, I simply need to decide what it is I want to accomplish, what I want to do, and DO IT. Doing is still critical, as nothing will happen without action. Then after taking the action, I must let go of controlling the outcome. I must surrender. Trust first, but then completely let go of that control. Surrender to the fact that a higher power will either show me this is the right path, or guess what, maybe there is another.

Letting go of control does not mean not taking action. Not moving toward our desires. It’s the acceptance that once we make a decision, once we take action, we surrender that the outcome is out of our hands. We accept whatever comes from the decisions we make and we learn from it, or redirect ourselves to another path. But no matter the outcome, there are no failures. And we are not in control.

Still Processing

I’m still processing all of this as it’s difficult to surrender control. To let go of the belief that I have all the power.

Whether it’s business, relationships, or our own emotions, surrendering to a power greater than ourselves, actually releases us from the thought that we fail or we succeed. We don’t do either. We keep moving forward, working in unison with the energy around us, with the greater plan that we are only a small part of.

But what we bring to the greater plan is something only we can bring. Only we can do. We are all here for a reason. We all have a role in the greater plan.

I’m focused even more so now on surrendering. Releasing the idea that I have control. Accepting that I am a significant part of a greater plan, but that I do not control that plan.

If you are addicted to control like me, try doing the exercise I mentioned above. Notice how it all comes back to events where you were not in control.

And if you want to practice surrender, come  play with me this month! Sign up for Explore Laugh Play! A 30 Day Challenge to let go of stress which includes letting go of control and surrendering each day!

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Last week Mark wrote about our quest to find the perfect spot for our Eclectic Sanctuary and perhaps grow some culinary herbs. We thought we found the spot, but after further insight, further introspection, we realized those 3 massive barns were not it. No matter how much we wanted it to be, the house just didn’t work for our lifestyle.

We almost put in an offer.

We almost got so wrapped up in the new “shiny object” that we forgot what is most important.

See the barns were amazing. The whole property was amazing! The idea of US owning them and making it into this herb farm where folks could come get fresh herbs and maybe even take a cooking class was drawing us in.

There was plenty of space for farming. The barns could be repurposed for drying out herbs. We had space to construct some greenhouses. The kitchen was most certainly large enough to host a class.

Square Peg – Round Hole

So, what was most important, where living in this home would have been much like trying to get a square peg in a round hole?

Ultimately it was the importance of entertaining friends and family.

Mark and I do not host big parties or have gatherings every week. But when we do have friends and family over, we like to hang out in an area that is comforting, brings nature inside, and where we can cook and still be part of the conversation.

On Thanksgiving, we ultimately enjoy preparing dinner together while also partaking in all the conversations with family because our kitchen is open to a space where everyone gathers.

No matter how hard we tried to make this house meet our desires and become our home, allowing us to enjoy living in it, it just didn’t fit.

And we tried.  I sketched out numerous plans and ideas, but there was just no way to connect the beautiful entertaining room to the kitchen and no way to have a bright airy bedroom and not take away from public space.

So here we are, back to step one.

We could have saved much time and energy had we had more clarity on what is most important to us.

See, we set out with an idea. A rough framework. We gave a guide to our realtor. It was pretty specific, but it didn’t express what was most important.

One must be perfectly clear about what brings them joy if they are to find joy.

Mark and I were looking at all the opportunities that had come into mind since starting this journey: Farm Stay, Herbs, Chickens, and being close to the Delaware River towns.

When we started this quest, it was all about having a few guestrooms and then space to host Wellness Retreats.  I intentionally wasn’t clear about specifics because I thought there could be numerous ways to make this work.

But ultimately, my goal was and is to be financially self-sustainable and also live a life I love. Every single day!

I realize now these two things are what is truly important to me. My true desire is not having a small retreat center. My true desire is to create a life I love where I am financially self-sustainable.

So when this opportunity of a farm came into view, and it had a pool where I could host Aqua Yoga classes, it seemed we found IT! We found the property where we could manifest our dreams.

What I wasn’t clear about, was my personal life needs and desires. How I want to live when not working.

So last week after our second trip up there, I started drawing new plans. Researching other possibilities. But nothing worked. I was ready to just make an offer and figure it out later. There had to be a way, right? How could we let this opportunity pass us by?

And then it hit me.

Listen to Your Heart

I sat quietly and listened to my heart. I listened to my desires of how I wanted to wake up in the morning with the sun shining in through my windows.

How I want to continue to have family over for Thanksgiving and be able to congregate in a shared space of nature and food as well as be accessible to everyone in my family, something that would not be the case in this house.

How I wanted to relax in the evening. Spending time noticing the sun set while maybe turning on the TV for a show or two.

And my heart was sad.

No matter how we remodeled or changed the flow of the house, it was not conducive to our way of living.

And it was not really helping me get to being financially self-sustainable.

Making all these changes was going to be expensive. At least $100K to $200K. Using up a lot of funds that could be better purposed toward financial sustainability.

And my heart wouldn’t be happy?

And what about money to start the farm? Buy a tractor, seeds, a greenhouse?

I put away the sketches and plans for the house and sat down and wrote what was most important to me in living my life. Mark was out shooting pool, so I had plenty of time to think alone.

Integrating Our Desires

The next morning, I asked Mark to make a list of what is most important to him. How he sees us living our lives say 5 years from now.  I didn’t share my list at this point as I didn’t want to influence his desires.

His list was a bit different. But there was some overlap.

But the overlap is not our combined vision. It is the totality of both visions that is our combined vision.

I cannot ignore Mark’s desire for land just as he can’t ignore my desire for still wanting to teach at FIT. That would be sacrificing our own individual desires and would probably leave one of us feeling a bit unsatisfied.

Our list is longer now. It may be harder to find that perfect property.

BUT MAYBE NOT.

See now we have an easy way to say yes or no. We go to our list. How many boxes does it check off? We now have complete clarity of what we are looking for. Will there be adjustments and compromises? Sure. But knowing what is most important, makes the decision-making process much simpler.

Today we are headed out again to look at some areas and properties: 2 open houses and a few drive-bys. We will see what the universe decides to show us now that we have clarity on what’s most important.

The post What’s Most Important appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

Are you one of the many who complain you never have enough time?

You’ll read that book when you have more time.

Getting together with an old friend will happen when you have more time.

You’ll start a side hustle when you have more time.

That massage will get scheduled when you have more time.

Yet, we know, we never get more time. There are 24 hours in a day or a total of 1,440 minutes. A week has  7 days. There never will be 8, 7 is all you get. There are 365 days in a year and occasionally 366, but never more than that!

Time is constant. It is not changing. Yet we continue to complain, not get things done, and wait till we have more time.

You may have heard me talk about Stress, and that Stress, as a mathematical equation simply is all our pressures less our capacity. But Capacity is Not Time. But many of us have high levels of stress because we believe there is NOT ENOUGH TIME.

Well, let me tell you…

There is always enough time.

But many of us tend to do this one thing that sucks our time away, again and again.

Now you may be thinking it’s scrolling on social media. It’s not.

Think it’s watching too much TV. It’s not.

If you’ve ever been in meetings with no agenda or leadership, you may think that’s it. But no, it isn’t.

Got kids? You may be thinking it’s all their activities – but hey, that is definitely not a waste of time!  That’s just being a parent.

So what is this one thing that hijacks all our time?

Worry! Allowing our mind to spend its energy focused on concern without taking any action.

It’s that last part that makes it a time-waster! Without action, we’re just spending our energy without solving the issue. We’re stuck in a primal state of no action. When we are worrying, we are engaging the sympathetic nervous system. We’re in freeze mode. Doing nothing but thinking of our problems.

It’s even worse when we worry about potential problems. Things that haven’t even happened yet.

Why do we worry?

Think about it for a minute, why do you worry?

Worry is not the same as problem-solving. Problem-solving is a good use of our time. But problem-solving is a powerful use of our brain. We are focused not on the distress of the problem, but on solutions. When we are problem-solving, we are looking at what action to take.

When we are worried we are questioning. Why did this happen? What if things get worse? What-if’ing everything.

Now if we can use what-if to define solutions, basically using WOOP, a method psychologist Gabriele Oettingen created to help create solutions for obstacles that most likely will present themselves before they do. Creating solutions is not worrying.  That again, is problem-solving, a good thing.

It’s a fine line between worry and WOOPing!

So why do we worry, meaning why do we obsess about a problem but take no action, don’t try to problem-solve, just incessantly think about it?

I don’t have the answer. It makes no sense. Yet we all do it.

I found myself doing a lot of it this past week. And even though I know it was not helping me in the least little bit, I decided to observe it.

What did I notice?

Worrying used up all my time and energy.

Now I didn’t sit and worry,  I did things. I cleaned. Scrolled through social media. I watched the news. I even tried to tell myself that researching herbs and farms was not worrying. And maybe it wasn’t. But it was all distractions as my mind kept coming back to worry.

Worry, my mind distracted by thoughts of fear or indecision, stopped me from achieving the simple tasks I set out to do. These persistent worrying thoughts held me back from achieving what I intended to do for the day.

Why? Because I was in a primal state. Instead of engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, I spent most of my time in the sympathetic, Fight, Flight, Freeze. I was not thriving, I was barely surviving. When we are in a primal state, which is whenever we are engaged in the sympathetic nervous system, we do not make good use of our time. Our energy is sucked right out of us.

Worry is the same as FREEZE. Worry keeps us from moving forward.

1. Thinking something will magically change, we freeze without finding solutions.
2. When we feel overwhelmed we freeze without making a decision or taking action.
3. We Freeze because maybe it’s not our problem to solve.

Let’s look at #3 first.

Worrying about someone else’s problems

We all have people we love that we want to help when they have problems or are feeling down or depressed. It’s difficult to not worry about them. But ask yourself, is worrying helping them?  Instead of worry, do something. Call them. Be a sounding board. If they ask for specific assistance, do it. Yes, help them as much as you can. But when you begin to do down the road of worry, notice it. Think, “Is there anything I can do that will help them?” If not, accept that because you refuse to worry about them does not mean you don’t care. Let them know you are there to listen, to help them take action, but if there is nothing you can do, let go.

This is where the Serenity Prayer comes in.

“God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

When we know the difference, we can let go. If we are mindful of the fact that we cannot change anything, we can see that worry does nothing. It solves nothing.

Letting go, not worrying, does not mean that we don’t care about our loved ones. It does not mean that we won’t take action if we can. It simply means we are not helping them and we are not helping ourselves when we sit and worry.

Let’s move to #2

Worrying without taking action

This kind of worry is where we pretend we are problem-solving, but in reality, it’s just another form of worry.

This is where we WANT to solve the problem at hand, but, going back to the serenity prayer, we don’t always have the courage to take action.

We research and analyze all potential solutions, yet we just keep on doing that, refusing to make a decision and take action.

We are locked in FREEZE mode. No action just worry. Thinking of all the what-ifs, but not committing to any solution. In the business world, we call this “analysis paralysis.” It’s great to analyze things to make an informed decision, and take appropriate action, but when all we do is keep coming up with potential steps to take, we are wasting the valuable time given to us. That set amount of time that never changes.

Why don’t we commit to a solution and take action?

The number one reason is we are scared of making the wrong decision. So instead of making any decision, we do nothing.

But is any decision a wrong decision? Why is it that because we make a decision that does not produce our desired results, we say it was the wrong decision?

What if we were able to say that any decision gets us closer to solving the problem at hand. If we don’t get the results at first, we learn from that. The next decision may bring us closer to the ultimate solution. We now know more about the problem and what will and not work.

Taking no action is the ultimate wrong decision as it guarantees nothing will change and are stuck exactly where we are.

So how do we let go of fear? I find the easiest way is to believe that no decision is wrong. That every decision, every step we take, leads us closer to whatever we desire. Once we believe there is no such thing as failure, we empower ourselves to make a decision.

Let’s move to #1.

Worrying about the problem by ignoring it

Have you ever found yourself worried about something, so you decide to clean out your closet? Or maybe you decide to go grocery shopping or do the laundry.

Our mind is still thinking about the problem, but unlike scenario #2, here we just focus on the problem and we don’t even think of potential solutions. We avoid solving the problem.  But we don’t let our minds let go of thinking about it.

This is different than letting go because we can’t do anything about it. When this type of worry appears, it uses up all our energy as we keep thinking about the problem, but then shifting our focus to mundane tasks.  It doesn’t stop the worry really, it just prolongs it because the problem is still there.

Many times we are grouchy when this worry presents itself.  When we snap at our children or spouse or co-workers. We’re anxious because we have this problem to solve but we don’t even want to think of the solutions. It may be because we don’t feel we have any control or maybe we feel we are not capable. Both are inaccurate.

We always have control. Making a decision is entirely within our control.

Not capable? We can do more than we know. Perhaps it’s just believing the words of Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich, “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

Deciding we have full control of our lives and that we can achieve whatever we desire, is the first step in not letting this type of worry hijack our days.

Take time back

Once we learn to observe our worry patterns, we can begin to take action as to how to resolve our problems rather than waste time worrying.

Notice that we’re avoiding the problem and instead of weeding the yard we actually sit down and identify solutions.

We can notice when we have numerous solutions, but we continue to fret and analyze our options. Then we can stop and decide on one solution, letting go of any fear, knowing that the result, whatever it is, gets us one step closer to resolving the problem.

When we cannot change things, when it’s someone else’s problem and all we can do is offer support, we can let go. And when we let go, we can move forward in resolving those issues within our power.

Make use of a Forest Bathing Invitation I use… The Worry Stone.

Find a stone, tell it your worries, and then ask the stone to care for your worries. Leave it in the yard where you can come back to it when you are ready to take action. They will not longer be worries, but problems to solve. Let the stone have your worries, so you can  have your time!

The post Stop This One Thing And Get A Bunch Of Time Back! appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

This week something finally clicked in me.  I haven’t been able to make sense of why some people never achieve their dreams. Even with all my mindset training, I still found this lingering doubt if the tools I teach and use, actually work.  If it’s as simple as having clarity, knowing your strengths, and making a powerful decision, shouldn’t more of us be living our dreams?

Well yes and no.

I believe now more than ever that what I teach, what I use in my coaching program really does work.

Because when we don’t achieve our so-called dreams, when we don’t wake up with our desires, it’s because we want the outcome but we don’t want the journey to get there. So yes we more of us could be living our dreams, but many don’t because we are focused on the ego.

Let’s take me for example as a pre-teen.

Going to be a Rock Star

I so wanted to play the guitar. To be in a rock band. Be like Nancy Wilson of Heart!  Have my rock band, sing, and make music!

Heck, in middle school I got our music teacher to let us (I can’t remember who us was – but it was more than just me) “practice” during lunch in the music room!  My memory does not recall who was there with me, but I was going to play bass guitar because I had already tried to learn lead guitar and couldn’t cut it.

Wait, I shouldn’t say I couldn’t cut it, I should say I didn’t choose to cut it.

I didn’t choose to cut my fingernails so they wouldn’t interfere with the frets.

And I didn’t’ choose to practice on a regular basis.

I thought the bass guitar would be easier and the bass guitar could be pretty cool.

But even bass guitar required some dedication. Dedication I didn’t have.

Nope, I wanted to pick up the guitar and be a rock star!  No rehearsing. No learning. Just pick up a guitar and play!

Yep, that was a dream that didn’t come true. And I get it now. I didn’t love or desire the journey to get there!

I didn’t love the idea of practicing daily. The journey I would need to take to become a really good guitar player.

Needless to say, I still dream about playing the guitar around a campfire.  But again, I want to pick it up and play, without the lessons, without the practicing.

Dreams that require work that we don’t want to do, are dreams that will never come true.

Fantasy or Dream?

So how do we tell the difference between Fantasy and Dreams or Desires?

It’s simple. Our desires come from the heart.  They come from a place of love.

Fantasy’s come from a place of ego. A place of coolness, of comparing ourselves to others.

We want that DREAM Home with a 3 car garage, a fireplace, a wrap-around porch, and a Viking Kitchen Stove and Fridge with French Doors, even though we only own one car, we only use the fireplace for the holidays, and we never sit on the porch and the only thing we cook is in the microwave unless again, it’s the holidays.

Is that Dream Home our heart’s desire, or is it our ego that we need to have what is expected we should have?

We want that promotion at work with the dreamy corner office and the prestige of the new title, but we don’t want to work the long hours and play corporate politics to get there.

Too many times we mix up fantasies and dreams. And then when we don’t get it, and others, we don’t understand. What makes them better? Why did they get the corner office? Well, maybe it’s because it was their heart’s desire. Maybe they love the work. Love corporate politics. There is nothing wrong with either of these fantasies being someone’s actual dream.  Just realize, that it may not be yours.

If dreams come from the heart, the journey to get there will also come from the heart, meaning we will love the journey as much as the dream itself.

Choose the Journey  – Not the Destination

There is a Hindu text called the Bhagavad Ghita with writings about the path of self-actualization. It is studied by many during Yoga Teacher Training. There is one phrase from the book that has always captured my interest but now makes so much more sense.

“Set thy heart upon the work, but never on its reward.”

Fall in love with the journey to your dreams, not the dream itself.

Be unattached to the outcome but be content and driven by the journey itself.

Our life is a journey, not a dream. Living our Dream Life is Loving the Journey.

When our desires come from the heart, we love the journey of getting there because, in reality, life is the journey of constantly reaching for our desires.

If we love life, we live in flow. If we live in flow we love the journey, not the destination.

Life is actually not about achieving anything.

Life is about living. Living is working toward our desires.

And when one desire is meant, we move toward the next, enjoying the new road before us.

It is not the destination that will bring us happiness. It is the journey.

The journey of consciously creating a life we love.

The journey of consciously creating ourselves, over and over. As many times as we like.

And loving the journey!

The post Dreams Only Come True When You Love the Journey appeared first on Eclectic Well-Being.

by Kathi Szabo

I truly believe that without a clear vision of what you really want in life, you will never be satisfied.

But, I also believe that our desires, our vision of what we want our lives to be, is always changing, rarely staying the same.

First, when we achieve our desires, our mind notices other things that are in line with our first desire. For example, say our dream is to travel to Machu Pichu. Once we achieve that, we notice so many other wonders in the world we want to see. Or maybe once we visit Machu Pichu, we’re satisfied and we want to settle down and buy a house.

Then there are times we get closer to our dreams and desires, and something about it doesn’t feel right. We notice something different and become more intrigued. We decide to make adjustments to our dream based on what we know now.

That’s life. Life is always changing. We are always changing. Others are always changing. Things happen that we have no control over yet it impacts us. We can choose how it impacts us, but it still impacts us.

When Mark and I started Eclectic Well-Being, we had one clear vision, to help people live better lives. It was pretty simple. We knew that included the internal self, thoughts, emotions, basically your mindset. We also knew it include the body. Not that we want everyone to have Instagram Yogi bodies, but we want to help others live a healthy life, so they can live longer and enjoy more of their life. And we knew helping people live better lives included connection. Connection to community and connection to nature.

The Changing Vision of Eclectic Well-Being

Last year we worked hard to create a platform similar to what we created at our yoga studio, offer classes and workshops, a membership site, and membership perks. That was actually deviation from our original  vision of wanting to partner with other businesses, sending clients to the best yoga studio, recommending small gyms, referring our clients to other wellness modalities based on their needs. But somehow, we overlooked our actual desire. The familiarity of running a membership-based business was still ingrained in our minds.

By the end of the year, we knew we needed to change. We weren’t serving our clients by having a little of this and a little of that.  Community and Connection though was still important to us.  How could we focus on one to one coaching but still create community and connection?

We shifted our vision again and decided to continue to include monthly connection events, but also include connecting more with our community of other wellness providers. Our original business idea was centered around working and supporting others who could serve our clients in ways we couldn’t. After all, we aren’t experts in everything, and we envisioned a community of wellness providers working with us. We overlooked this clarity because it was such a change from how we’d been operating the past few years. We were comfortable in operating a yoga studio and we tried like heck to stay in that comfort zone even though that was not our desire.

Overlooking our real vision because we are comfortable with what we know, happens to many of us. Comfort, or certainty as Tony Robbins would call it, is a need we all have. And sometimes moving out of our comfort zone, even when it’s a desire of ours, can be challenging.

Dreams Change

Now 4 months into 2022 and my lenses, my clarity, need readjusting again.

Retreats were more of a side note in our business model. It was always in the back of my mind, but it was not my focus. However, since planning and executing our DREAM Retreat to St Croix, and selling out our Women’s Only Self Care Day Retreat next month – Retreats are now my passion. It’s what I dream about! It’s what I truly love doing!  I love the planning. I love the traveling. I love meeting new people. I love the challenge of being in new surroundings, even when they aren’t quite what you expected.  And I believe Retreats are life-changing!  They are magical and I want everyone to experience them.  That’s why today I just confirmed our second DREAM Retreat but this time to Amorgos, Greece! Yoga, Mindfulness, Meditation, Mindset, Self Discovery and Exploring the Greek Island Culture.

Time for New Lenses!

We experience life and we see things differently. Having clarity is great, but we must notice when the vision becomes fuzzy and blurry. When it does, it’s time to reassess and go back to the drawing board!

So how do we know when it’s time to change our Dreams?

It’s when you no longer are excited by the dream.

It’s when working for the dream is a daunting task.

When it’s no longer fun.

When it no longer brings you joy.

But what if your current dream no longer brings you joy, but you don’t know what will?

You feel stuck.

You may be living the dream you thought you wanted, but something is still lacking.

That’s what the Total MindShift is all about.

It’s taking the time to shift our thought patterns so we can begin to dream again. To let the world be our playground. To listen, truly listen to our heart’s desires.

I practice what I teach. Whenever I feel frustrated, or I feel myself avoiding things, I stop and go inward.

I dig into my psyche. Observing my thoughts and taking note of the observation.

How am I feeling? Are there limiting beliefs stopping me from pursuing my dreams? Do I just need some time to myself?

Mindfulness and Self Care are key.

Finding New Clarity – AGAIN…

So if you are feeling you need to get clarity again. That perhaps your dreams have shifted. Here’s what I recommend.

1. If you don’t journal start, or at least have a practice as you work through getting your clarity. I love the exercise from “An Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron of morning pages. Write 3 pages I believe even if it’s the same thing over and over. Just write and get it out.
2. Sit and breathe. This is great advice for whenever anxiety or frustration creeps up. Focused awareness meditation of simply noticing your breath. This simple technique calms the nervous system and will help move you into a powerful state, or the parasympathetic nervous system.
3. Find Gratitude for what you currently have. This is key. Even if we’ve recently experienced loss or tragedy, we can find gratitude for other things in our lives. Without gratitude, we cling to frustration and anger for what we don’t have. This will never propel us to living our dreams.
4. Clarify your values. There are numerous exercises out there to do this. One I like is from the book “Who’s in Your Room” by Emery, Misner, and Sapio.
5. Hire a Coach. Coaches are trained to not solve the issue for you, not to layout your dream based on any survey or quiz. No, coaches are here to support and help you find the answers in yourself. Because it is already inside you, you just need to bring it to the surface.
6. Live. Love. Laugh. Life is whatever you create, and you can only create when you are embracing the current moment.

Living in Motion

What I’ve learned over the past 7 years, is that my dreams and desires are always in motion. That my values guide me. And that the universe is always working for my greatest good! That last belief is faith. Faith that our dreams are worth pursuing. Faith that we are here for a reason. Faith that love always wins. Faith in ourselves and those around us.

If you’d like to explore working together and creating a Total MindShift so you can consciously create a life you love, schedule a no-pressure call with me, and let’s see where the road goes.

And if you want to experience a mini DREAM Retreat this summer, join us for a weekend in the Poconos. Experience Yoga Nidra, a mindfulness walk, morning meditation, river rafting and connection to community and to nature. Check it out! Limited spaces!

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