by Kathi Szabo
This week something finally clicked in me. I haven’t been able to make sense of why some people never achieve their dreams. Even with all my mindset training, I still found this lingering doubt if the tools I teach and use, actually work. If it’s as simple as having clarity, knowing your strengths, and making a powerful decision, shouldn’t more of us be living our dreams?
Well yes and no.
I believe now more than ever that what I teach, what I use in my coaching program really does work.
Because when we don’t achieve our so-called dreams, when we don’t wake up with our desires, it’s because we want the outcome but we don’t want the journey to get there. So yes we more of us could be living our dreams, but many don’t because we are focused on the ego.
Let’s take me for example as a pre-teen.
Going to be a Rock Star
I so wanted to play the guitar. To be in a rock band. Be like Nancy Wilson of Heart! Have my rock band, sing, and make music!
Heck, in middle school I got our music teacher to let us (I can’t remember who us was – but it was more than just me) “practice” during lunch in the music room! My memory does not recall who was there with me, but I was going to play bass guitar because I had already tried to learn lead guitar and couldn’t cut it.
Wait, I shouldn’t say I couldn’t cut it, I should say I didn’t choose to cut it.
I didn’t choose to cut my fingernails so they wouldn’t interfere with the frets.
And I didn’t’ choose to practice on a regular basis.
I thought the bass guitar would be easier and the bass guitar could be pretty cool.
But even bass guitar required some dedication. Dedication I didn’t have.
Nope, I wanted to pick up the guitar and be a rock star! No rehearsing. No learning. Just pick up a guitar and play!
Yep, that was a dream that didn’t come true. And I get it now. I didn’t love or desire the journey to get there!
I didn’t love the idea of practicing daily. The journey I would need to take to become a really good guitar player.
Needless to say, I still dream about playing the guitar around a campfire. But again, I want to pick it up and play, without the lessons, without the practicing.
Dreams that require work that we don’t want to do, are dreams that will never come true.
Fantasy or Dream?
So how do we tell the difference between Fantasy and Dreams or Desires?
It’s simple. Our desires come from the heart. They come from a place of love.
Fantasy’s come from a place of ego. A place of coolness, of comparing ourselves to others.
We want that DREAM Home with a 3 car garage, a fireplace, a wrap-around porch, and a Viking Kitchen Stove and Fridge with French Doors, even though we only own one car, we only use the fireplace for the holidays, and we never sit on the porch and the only thing we cook is in the microwave unless again, it’s the holidays.
Is that Dream Home our heart’s desire, or is it our ego that we need to have what is expected we should have?
We want that promotion at work with the dreamy corner office and the prestige of the new title, but we don’t want to work the long hours and play corporate politics to get there.
Too many times we mix up fantasies and dreams. And then when we don’t get it, and others, we don’t understand. What makes them better? Why did they get the corner office? Well, maybe it’s because it was their heart’s desire. Maybe they love the work. Love corporate politics. There is nothing wrong with either of these fantasies being someone’s actual dream. Just realize, that it may not be yours.
If dreams come from the heart, the journey to get there will also come from the heart, meaning we will love the journey as much as the dream itself.
Choose the Journey – Not the Destination
There is a Hindu text called the Bhagavad Ghita with writings about the path of self-actualization. It is studied by many during Yoga Teacher Training. There is one phrase from the book that has always captured my interest but now makes so much more sense.
“Set thy heart upon the work, but never on its reward.”
Fall in love with the journey to your dreams, not the dream itself.
Be unattached to the outcome but be content and driven by the journey itself.
Our life is a journey, not a dream. Living our Dream Life is Loving the Journey.
When our desires come from the heart, we love the journey of getting there because, in reality, life is the journey of constantly reaching for our desires.
If we love life, we live in flow. If we live in flow we love the journey, not the destination.
Life is actually not about achieving anything.
Life is about living. Living is working toward our desires.
And when one desire is meant, we move toward the next, enjoying the new road before us.
It is not the destination that will bring us happiness. It is the journey.
The journey of consciously creating a life we love.
The journey of consciously creating ourselves, over and over. As many times as we like.
And loving the journey!